Wednesday, 6 April 2011

The mercy of SoD

I should have known better than to trust optimistically in the mercy of SoD – this week’s WI saw me 1lb heavier than last week. SoD is not full of the milk of human (scaley?) kindness, even when that milk is a SW Healthy Extra choice.

Now, I know I had the tiny tea but I had saved syns for this and felt that my behaviour otherwise had been exemplary (2 cycle commutes, some brisk walking and stair climbing (the latter nearly kills me) as well as studiously sticking to the SW eating plan). And what was even more heartbreaking was that on Sunday I weighed Porky.9 – this morning I was Porky.12 (and last week I was Porky.11). I’ve been pretty phlegmatic about no weight loss for ooooh, at least a couple of months but I’m starting to get rather upset about it all.

This is possibly partly also because work is a nightmare at the moment. Yesterday was so insanely busy that I wanted to cry and panic eat biscuits. I managed to do neither of these things but I feel worn down by work too - and resisting biscuits THAT I DON'T EVEN FLIPPING LIKE MUCH. Perhaps my overall resilience is sapped and therefore the constant battle with my weight is just too overwhelming right now.

It seems very unlikely that I will get to what was a very modest goal back in January – to have lost a stone and a half by mid May. I’ve actually only lost 8lbs in all those long weeks (13 I think). I don’t think I’ll be wearing the dress I’d hoped to to bf’s mother’s party – and buying a dress because you’re too fat for the one you have is pretty soul-destroying.

So, I’m going to grit my teeth and fight on another week and hope that this week was a blip which will be resolved next week. Something has to give – just hope it’s not me.


Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

Ah Peridot, that SoD is a merciless beast - don't you just want to smash it or smash something (or get smashed)?...

I know you are disappointed that your losses are moving slowly - but you have lost 8 (eight!) pounds. No gains. Not staying the same. 8 LOST - and because you took them off in a sensible way, they're gone for good.

You WILL get there...and bravo for not eating those biscuits to self-soothe. You ARE strong and resilient, Peridot!

Love Cat said...

Oh P.... I am so frustrated for you. When you've not only stuck to the plan but exercised and on top of that resisted the lure of the biscuit tin in times of stress - only to put a pound on?

Where is the justice, I ask you?! Where?!

All I can say is that Debbie is right; you have lost 8lbs. Don't lose sight of that. That's 16 blocks of butter, gone.

You've got amazing tenacity and I know will keep going and you will get results.


Claire said...

What Debbie said! But I do feel your pain. xxx

Seren said...

ANY sort of loss, however slow or small it seems to be is a good thing. As long as you are not gaining weight you are winning as far as I am concerned.

Well done for not lapsing into a biscuity frenzy of despair - I have complete faith that you will win through this in the end.


Lesley said...

Aah babes. How excruciatingly annoying. How about seeing a new dress as a treat, something positive to make you feel and look good despite slow movement on the SoD? You do deserve a treat and looking good is a great lift. And tou will look good whatever you say about porky etc etc

Lesley x x x

Linz M said...

I feel your pain - but like the others have said - you have still lost weight and that is not easily done.

Sometimes you don't see results on the scales, but find them elsewhere. Do your clothes fit better? Do you feel fitter? I don't know what to suggest really other than keep going, I've every faith you will get there.