I should have known better than to trust optimistically in the mercy of SoD – this week’s WI saw me 1lb heavier than last week. SoD is not full of the milk of human (scaley?) kindness, even when that milk is a SW Healthy Extra choice.
Now, I know I had the tiny tea but I had saved syns for this and felt that my behaviour otherwise had been exemplary (2 cycle commutes, some brisk walking and stair climbing (the latter nearly kills me) as well as studiously sticking to the SW eating plan). And what was even more heartbreaking was that on Sunday I weighed Porky.9 – this morning I was Porky.12 (and last week I was Porky.11). I’ve been pretty phlegmatic about no weight loss for ooooh, at least a couple of months but I’m starting to get rather upset about it all.
This is possibly partly also because work is a nightmare at the moment. Yesterday was so insanely busy that I wanted to cry and panic eat biscuits. I managed to do neither of these things but I feel worn down by work too - and resisting biscuits THAT I DON'T EVEN FLIPPING LIKE MUCH. Perhaps my overall resilience is sapped and therefore the constant battle with my weight is just too overwhelming right now.
It seems very unlikely that I will get to what was a very modest goal back in January – to have lost a stone and a half by mid May. I’ve actually only lost 8lbs in all those long weeks (13 I think). I don’t think I’ll be wearing the dress I’d hoped to to bf’s mother’s party – and buying a dress because you’re too fat for the one you have is pretty soul-destroying.
So, I’m going to grit my teeth and fight on another week and hope that this week was a blip which will be resolved next week. Something has to give – just hope it’s not me.