Wednesday, 27 April 2011

A benign SoD

I really had to screw my courage up to get on SoD today - the unfortunate butter incident and a little too much laxness (not actually sure that's a word, but still) over the weekend made me fear the worst after an exemplary week which saw me put ON 1lb. But SoD moves in mysterious ways and this week I actually lost 3 1/2lbs. All very curious but I'm enthusiastically staring this particular gift horse in the mouth. Maybe it works a week in arrears? Ah, it's beyond me. But this takes me to Porky.6 - so 2lbs below my pre-Christmas weight, hallelujah! Dear god, but it's been a slog. Now I'm focussed on getting down to Porky.0 and then into the Chubbys. Or Plumps - not sure which it will be yet.

I am trying to be very zen about not losing in the next WI. A weekend of indulgence - however restrained - is unlikely to see me losing any weight. In fact I'd just be thrilled not to gain any. But it's a treat and a special occasion and whilst I intend to be sensible, I know that I'll be eating above my syn quota. I'm trying to bank quite a bit now to at least minimise the damage. And there will be walking - hilly walking too which we're not used to after Suffolk. That should help a little with those blueberry pancakes the B&B offers for breakfast!

Thanks to the Claires and Fionna for your comments. I know I'm being a wuss and despite my pathological hatred of confrontation, we're going to have to have a talk about dieting etc. Whatever bee was in his bonnet seems to have buzzed off, he apologised this morning and again over the phone at lunchtime. He does flare up and cool down - whereas I am a long simmerer and passive-agressive. In many ways we are so much the same and in other ways so very different - largely about how we handle conflict and aggravation and then we do not understand one another at all. He is very critical and I am a feeble people-pleaser with a perfectionist tendency - and that does not make for an easy relationship all the time. But it is a snapshot - most of the time we're very happy together and I have learnt to let his tetchiness wash over me. I suspect I am very irritating which is the part I play in all this - that and the conflict avoidness and wussiness. So, I'm not looking forward to tonight's 'talk' and only hope we can keep it civil whilst we work out why he got in such a strop yesterday and why it led to name-calling - and he has to understand the consequences of his bursts of temper, I did not sleep until gone 3am and I don't shrug it all off with the new day, it leaves me bruised emotionally for some time.


claire said...

I once read an article where they compared the 'simmer time' of men and women. Across the board, men got riled and then instatly forgot. The women simmered for hours, sometimes days. Tis the ways of the Venus/Mars thing ladies and gents have got going on.

But that said, I do see a correlation between your loss weeks and your non-loss weeks. Scone week = loss. Peanuts and chocolate week = loss. The weeks when you use your syns and relax, you lose. Could there be a pattern here?

However, you can go away and enjoy to the full, make good choices where you can and know that the plan will be here for you when you get back!

Seren said...

I am so pleased that SoD have been kind this week - that's a fantastic loss!

I hope everything went ok with the OH. I was welling up a little when I read your post from yesterday because it struck so many chords. Every bride wants their groom to think they look beautiful on their big day. I know for a fact on my big day, D will think I'm too fat. You still have plenty of time BUT "for better or worse" means just that. I think I'm just rambling now rather than making useful points but I understand how you feel.

Take care.