I'm ill. Just a cold but whilst I can cope with the snottiness, I don't like the fact that my legs seem to have turned into rubber. I also feel intermittently sick and shivery (not necessarily at the same time). Of course, like any idiot (or perhaps I'm just a specially idiotic idiot), I'm trying to eat myself out of it. Yes, chocolate has once again become my main food group. And yes, even when I feel sick. How will a tightening waistband and an increasing heaviness of both heart and body help? I don't know. Well, I do know - it won't help - but I can't seem to stop. I even ate a whole packet of toffees Monday/Tuesday as I'd once been told they're good for a sore throat, even though they tasted of wax and I didn't even convince myself about the justification.
It seems to me that dieting is rather like commuting - you have a period of time where every atom rebels against it and every minute is a harrowing trial; if you can get through this to numb acceptance and habit, you can keep going almost indefinitely. Indefinitely ended for me on Friday with my unwilling pastry flirtation which led to a brief cake liaison which led to a seriously intense chocolate session. It continued through my Saturday lunch with friends (I haven't been that full since Christmas) into Sunday where I ate nothing all day and then a load of easter themed chocolate and a fake chinese (roast duck in plum sauce (horribly sweet) and rice) into Monday when I started to feel very ill indeed and today, Wednesday, is still going strong. Today's menu - capuccino, peach smoothie, piece of indifferent lemon cake (red nose day thing at work), 2 plums, Diet Chef soup, packet of crisps, Gu brownie, half a dozen strawberries, 2 strips of mango and pineapple, half a dozen jelly beans and a Guylain seashells bar - so far at 5.30pm. And no running for a week now (due to work at the end of last week and illness so far this week). I have a horrible taste in my mouth from decongestants and I suspect it's not just my imagination that's making me think my waistband feels tighter.