Wednesday, 11 March 2009

Sick and twisted

I'm ill. Just a cold but whilst I can cope with the snottiness, I don't like the fact that my legs seem to have turned into rubber. I also feel intermittently sick and shivery (not necessarily at the same time). Of course, like any idiot (or perhaps I'm just a specially idiotic idiot), I'm trying to eat myself out of it. Yes, chocolate has once again become my main food group. And yes, even when I feel sick. How will a tightening waistband and an increasing heaviness of both heart and body help? I don't know. Well, I do know - it won't help - but I can't seem to stop. I even ate a whole packet of toffees Monday/Tuesday as I'd once been told they're good for a sore throat, even though they tasted of wax and I didn't even convince myself about the justification.

It seems to me that dieting is rather like commuting - you have a period of time where every atom rebels against it and every minute is a harrowing trial; if you can get through this to numb acceptance and habit, you can keep going almost indefinitely. Indefinitely ended for me on Friday with my unwilling pastry flirtation which led to a brief cake liaison which led to a seriously intense chocolate session. It continued through my Saturday lunch with friends (I haven't been that full since Christmas) into Sunday where I ate nothing all day and then a load of easter themed chocolate and a fake chinese (roast duck in plum sauce (horribly sweet) and rice) into Monday when I started to feel very ill indeed and today, Wednesday, is still going strong. Today's menu - capuccino, peach smoothie, piece of indifferent lemon cake (red nose day thing at work), 2 plums, Diet Chef soup, packet of crisps, Gu brownie, half a dozen strawberries, 2 strips of mango and pineapple, half a dozen jelly beans and a Guylain seashells bar - so far at 5.30pm. And no running for a week now (due to work at the end of last week and illness so far this week). I have a horrible taste in my mouth from decongestants and I suspect it's not just my imagination that's making me think my waistband feels tighter.


Lesley said...

Stop NOW Peri!! YOu can do it and you'll feel much better once you do. I think the fact that you've posted about it means you're ready to stop the rot.

You have not done that much damage even with all that naughtiness. The sooner you stop and start moving again, the sooner you'll be back on track.

Come on sweets, I know what that feeling of "just giving in" is like but I have just had a good day and it wasn't that bad, I hardly missed the goodies...and I feel much more virtuous.

You don't want tight trousers do you...nightmare....

Lesley x

Mrs said...

I love Lesley's short, sharp shock response.

The only thing I can add - having been down this f*ck it road last year - is that you will kick yourself further down the line.

Believe me, you CAN nip this in the bud. I wish I had.

Big kiss.

Mrs Lxxxxxxx