Had yourself a merry little Christmas?

Peversity thy name is Peridot! On Christmas Eve I actually started hankering to be able to diet! I even had a mild impulse to go for a run. Why? Well, it's a big question and probably involves me smacking my head against a wall to try and knock some sense into myself but the only thing I could think of was that it was - because I couldn't. AmI just so plain awkward that I automatically want what I can't have? In which case, all I'd need to do is convince myself that I HAVE to have lots of chocolate and feel over-full to propel me rapidly in the direction of frugal salad nibbling (I do like salad by the way). The only problem is that I'm not sure I'd believe myself - I really am a rubbish liar. Of course, this could have all been set in motion by a reluctance to eat my mother's pudding which was some raspberry, marscapone and white chocolate tart in hazelnut pastry thingy. Hazelnuts - tick, raspberries - tick, marscapone - tick, tick, pasty - hmmm, not keen but white chocolate- bleurrrgghhh. And yet she'd worked so hard to make it so I ate it, begrudging the calories and really not liking it. I successfully evaded all the rest of it though - my bf heroically ate pretty much all of the rest of it.

The big D(iet) is a-coming but I'm not there yet. I have been ill right the way through Christmas, despite pretending to myself and everyone else that I was okay. But I wasn't and I'm not and it did put a dampener on the whole occasion. I couldn't even taste my butterscotch and pear trifle - although when I made the custard and the butterscotch sauce they did taste good - or the good wines we got, what a waste. And yesterday my face suddenly went red and became so itchy I was inclined to mimic a labrador (not for the first time) and rub it briskly on a doormat. I felt worse and worse. Bf suggested that I take an antihistamine and today I looked up adverse reactions to Lemsip Max to find out that an allergic reaction to decongestant looks just like I did yesterday. Given the choice between an intense need to flay my own skin off (especially my entire nose) and drowing in my own mucus, I've gone for the mucus option today. So that will be a treat then!

Highlights of festive period:
- dogs, dogs, dogs. I've really enjoyed having them here, despite Cheska being excessively pleased with her new, very loudly squeaky ball (even at 6am) and Lily's insistance on lying in my minute kitchen in case I drop something. We did a lovely walk yesterday - shorter than planned due to us only having about 1 lung between the 3 of us (mother seemed also to be coming down with cold at this point) but it had lots of small rivers and the dogs turned into hippos. Hippos who felt post-wallow that they should have had some of the flask of hot chocolate (with marshmallows to float on top) that I brought for human consumption. There was a certain element of canine sulking about this - despite bf giving them half of an enormous and very deluxe sausage roll from the Ginger Pig (which is not his pet name for me - no matter how apt - but a shop in Borough Market)
- funny and thoughtful present from best friend R who reads this blog and clearly was referring to my dressing down over not dressing up for running in inclement weather by bf a couple of months ago since she bought me some Nike running gear. Which I may have to slim into but makes me feel like a proper runner just by dint of owning it! I may leave it casually lying about, like some kind of window dressing!
- other lovely presents including a walking coat from mother in nice shades of green, lovely evening bag from other best friend E, elegant earrings from bf and - amazingly - a car sat nav from my brothers. Which may help me find R's house on NYD. Yep, she's my best friend but she lives MILES away and I've never seen her house as we always meet up in London. I am rubbish friend.

Lowlights:
- Lurgyied up to my eyeballs
- Severe sleep deprivation (mostly because of fabulous hostess duties - I'd really rather have staff I think - I'd happily dispense with the glory)
- Stressful dinner preparations in kitchen the size of a large wardrobe (with 2-3 people and 2 dogs). Not sure how we all lived to tell the tale
- RUBBISH telly on. Pah, how can I veg out properly in the true festive fashion if it's only soaps and reality TV on offer.

Now I'm looking forward to a few days of not-alotness before New Year in the Cotswolds. I am very excited because on NYE we will be walking around the White Horse in Wiltshire which I have wanted to do since I was about 6. Really. I saw it for the first time in something of a rush in October but now I can go back and have a good look and a walk - the forecast is for very cold but bright weather so ideal for a good tramp aroung with bf, mother and dogs. Then dinner and overnight in a pub and another walk on NYD before a quick trip to see best friend R (looking like a tramp I expect - me, not her). Only one scary bit - there is a disco at the pub. My mother and bf love dancing but I am v self conscious about this and tend to come across as a complete party pooper - never sure which is the lesser of two evils, boring party pooper or scary, graceless dancing elephant impression. And I'm not even thinking about what on earth I'll wear - arggghhhhh. Will have to at some point but am currently whistling loudly with my eyes shut rather than allow myself to freak out about this just yet. Full freak out will commence all too soon.