IPD 16

Thought I'd better do an update before I leave for the weekend although I have little to say (a blessed relief, some of you may be thinking!)

I actually put on 1lb this week. Quite scary but I think it is going to take my body a while to cope with the change to my eating (ie I am eating) and maybe the running is having an impact. Or is it too early to be building muscle mass? My inner thighs and area under my arse certainly ache after a run and the next day which I choose to interpret as positive. I'm sticking with it - at the very least for this month - but if the weight started really piling on I'd have to review. And actually that lb has gone again but it does mean I didn't lose anything last week. There's an interesting post on the pig2twig forum on how your fat cells panic fill up with water when you're loosing weight - so you are actually losing fat which will show once they release the water. But once you've built fat cells you can't get rid of them - the best you can achieve is to leave them flat, empty and dormant. I've made this into Janet and John science because I'm a science dimwit but if anyone wants to read it I'll email it to them as it's fascinating stuff. And backed up by my obesity specialist who said the same thing last time I was there.

I've had one very minor deviation from purity - a solitary green jelly baby today. It tasted overly sweet and I didn't enjoy it - but as soon as I had it I wanted more. So far I have resisted. I had a pretty horrible day yesterday, exhausted from no sleep after a spat with b/f and very tearful. I even had dispensation to eat chocolate from work best friend but I decided not to as it would reinforce the link between chocolate and comfort which clearly exists in my twisted little mind. I've sorted the argument out - with unusual calm, dignity and sensibleness but b/f still being a bit cool. Think he might be slightly thrown by me taking the lead. Hope it sorts out but I am going to try to be less of a emotionally needy, fragile doormat (although in my head I suspect I will never escape this!)

I'm at my mum's tonight and until Sunday lunchtime. I have severe doubts she's going to be able to feed me - she's rubbish at having food in generally and lives on pasta or M&S prick-and-ping. I'm not going to let it sway me though - I'll manage somehow - but I will be pissed off. I'm slightly fed up about it anyway since I kind of got emotionally blackmailed into going tonight. Tomorrow we'd arranged to go to Loch Fyne (fish restaurant, not place) in the evening to celebrate what would have been my grandmother's birthday (with b/f) and that was fine. But she's dogsitting over the weekend for her friend's Lab and she clearly can't manage this one and her own two on her own - she just relied on me being about and I don't want to. I'd rather be home tonight (on my own as b/f is with pal in Herts) and I'd rather go home on Saturday night so we can do our Sunday am run. As it is, we'll have to do it Sunday late afternoon/early evening. And we have to fit in a supermarket shop and some cooking for the week too. Along with dreary chores like clothes washing. And no lie in! Feeling a bit put upon. I'm useless at saying no! And not just to sugar. What was that I was saying about doormats?!!