Oh dear. The first day I scraped through with one ‘thing’ being very unconvincing indeed. On the 2nd I only managed 2 tepid ‘things’ and then I stopped. It’s supposed to cheer me up but when the best thing I manage is ‘today is over now’, it really, really doesn’t.
It could be my January blues leaking pigment all over my life; it could reflect how under the weather and stressed I feel because of work; it could be because this Christmas has been punctuated by a series of distressing rows with P (eg the one where he was convinced I’d deliberately burnt his piece of Christmas pudding by ignoring his instruction to put it in the microwave for 1 min (I didn’t hear him and put it in for 3. And burnt it)). Any which way I look at it, I’m struggling for any feelings of self-worth and positivity at the moment.
None of which takes us an iota away from the fact that I still need to make my NY resolution losing weight. And that’s not enough, I need to succeed at it. I’m just not sure how to do that. I bought a Slimming World magazine on Sunday to think about trying that one again. I vaguely remembered it wasn’t all about carbs and that it would suit me. I had forgotten the excruciating simpering system of “syns”and the vehement belief that the way to achieve success was by eating foods where anything natural had been removed and replaced by chemicals and saccharin. I can’t do it. I’ll buy the Weight Watchers one next but I fear a similar level of zeal for low-fat, highly artificial, vilely tasting products.
In the meantime I went back to the starve days yesterday – it was a good day and even with 2 Lindors, I should have come in around the correct calorie consumption:
Breakfast – nothing
Lunch – a mini babybel cheddar, an apple and 2 clementines
Dinner – a roasted courgette (spritzed with spray oil) and a pack of Birds Eye frozen haddock in some kind of sauce.
Today is a non-starve day and I feel it’s critical to still diet hard – I kind of think maybe I overdid things on non-starve days. So today:
Breakfast – stewed apple (no sweetening), 120g “% fat Greek yoghurt, 6 dates and a scattering of nuts
Mid-morning – flat white
Lunch – home-made chicken and vegetable soup, a piece of cheese, apple and 2 clementines
Dinner – Home-made meatballs with spaghetti and spicy tomato sauce, pineapple, 2 cubes Turkish delight
That’s quite a lot for a non-starve day – I was due to have roasted salmon and ratatouille but P is making meatballs and this is one of my favourite comfort foods so the salmon has been re-scheduled for Thursday. Tomorrow and Friday will be starve days (although I have my ‘mindfulness’ session with the psychologist on Wednesday first thing so that could scotch that one).
Of course, as I am too frightened to weigh myself, it’s hard to know how I’ll know whether this is being effective or not!