Friday, 15 February 2013

The Incredible Sulk

Reader, I have mostly spent this week sulking and eating.  The two are very much connected.  I fell off the wagon and I can’t even see it in the distance any more.
I had a pretty strict week last week, some of the little lapses that had crept in were eliminated and my starvation days were really, really tough.  So I reacted, ahem, badly to the Scales of Doom telling me that I’d put on 1 ½lbs.  Really badly.  Thursday was bad and Tuesday was very, very bad.  Given that a good week results in a gain, it’s really quite frightening to think what SoD will say this Tuesday. 
So I’m trying to claw my way back on today.  I was pretty sensible last night so the line has been drawn.  And today is a starvation day.  It’s already tough after a surfeit of sugar yesterday and a joyless day ahead.  And it’s made tougher by the fact that I’m not confident that this will work – I did the right things last week after all and I am actually fatter as a result.  This week I have been more bad than good so I shudder to think what SoD is going to bitch-slap me with on Tuesday.
I don’t understand why it’s not coming off.  But I will carry on, try to take it on the chin on Tuesday and try to have as good a week as possible next week and look for longer term trends rather than a knee-jerk response to one week where I throw:
a)      Myself around
b)      My metaphorical toys out of my pram
c)       The baby out with the bathwater (ooh, I’m rich with absurd idioms today)
d)      All the food down my gullet
Next week is going to be a real challenge though.  I normally have starve days on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  Next week however Wednesday night is the night for my friend’s leaving drinks and I’ve promised to bring in my triple lemon cake to line people’s stomachs and on Friday night we’re going out with friends to their much-lauded curry house.  Neither of these work with starvation plans.  I think I’m going to have to either do two consecutive days of starvation on Monday and Tuesday (not appealing) or do Monday and two partial starve days on Wednesday and Friday (not efficient).  All of which would be more bearable if I thought that the following week might see my clothes looser and my pecker raised from the floor.


Lesley said...

Hey hon. Sorry you're having such a tough time. I hate the thought of you starving yourself. Are you SURE it's the best strategy??

Have the best weekend you can and just remember, doing something is better than nothing!

(((((((((Big hugs))))))))

Lesley xx

c macd said...

The words "starvation day" strike dieting fear into me!
I've read some of your older posts: you once had week on week success with weight watchers (after losing the love for SW). I think you lost about 7 lbs in 4 weeks which is excellent for anyone. It was also a sustained effort. Sometimes a new focus can help with mental re-booting.
I hope you feel better soon.