Friday, 11 February 2011

No weigh to live

Do you know a song called “Living for the Weekend”? It’s not my style at all, being RAWK music – and 80s rock at that, which is absurdly poodle-perms. Well, of course we all do that, but I’m living for the weigh ins (hmm, would still scan!), each week hoping that I’ll suddenly get a loss that reflects both my effort and a run of poor losses by compensating me with a good chunk of flab banished. That week was not this week. This week technically in the eyes of WW I stayed the same (yes, despite the cycle commute, despite a walk, despite only using half my weekly allowance) at Fat.0lbs. Gentle Reader I do not try your patience with tales of quarter pounds (or indeed quarter pounders!) but this week I just have to mention that I am technically heavier than last week – albeit by quarter of a lb at 14.0 ¾ lb. Really that’s 14.1lb.

It means that my average weight loss is ¼ of a stone a month. Half what I thought was reasonable and realistic. And unless this changes, I am going to be a fat bride. Or at least fat when I’m wedding dress shopping which is a traumatic prospect anyway and assumes a terrifying nightmare proportion.

So I set my face resolutely to next Friday and wish the intervening days gone. It’s no way to live.

This weekend we are having a meal out as we’ve got a weekend away, staying in a friend’s house in Suffolk. This is both exciting and terrifying – given my lack of progress without factoring a social life in. We were planning on doing an 8 mile walk and a 14 mile walk but the forecast is for rain, rain, rain. Am still hoping to get some sort of walk in but it’s unlikely to be a 14 miler. It’s so frustrating.

I don’t want to live by the rule of SoD but I cannot see an alternative as I know I cannot be fat and happy. I’ve tried it for years after all! Of course, I know that thin does not equal happy either. Not that I’m aiming for thin in any case. But it does mean less trauma about clothes, special occasions, self consciousness etc

I am hoping to do a cycle commute next week and my first ever zumba class too. Now, my experience thus far is that if I do any exercise I actually put weight on (no, clothes not feeling any looser), but intellectually I cannot believe that this is cause and effect. So I will plug away. At some point I’ll have to re-think but my mind is too boggled to contemplate what to do next.


Seren said...

So frustrating for you. There is not always any rhyme or reason to the way in which our body drops weight, but that is cold comfort.

I seem to remember (have not had a chance to go back and look) that your losses were better on "old-stylee" points? Perhaps it would be worth going back to that method of counting for a week or so to see if any more success is to be had? I believe there are quite a few people on the WW message boards calling themselves "Vintage Pointers" who do seem to have more success on the old system.

Whatever happens, you will be a beautiful bride though, you do have to remember that. I had a mini meltdown just before Christmas about the fact that I wasn't going to be "skinny" by the time this September came round and my mother, not normally the most sympathetic of women when it comes to weight issues, told me in no uncertain terms that brides are beautiful regardless of the size of their behind. Ruching can hide a multitude of sins.

Have a lovely weekend, despite the rain.


Becca said...

I don't know what your codes mean, but I weighed 14st on my wedding day. When I look at the pictures, my worst criticisms are the funny brown shades that my make-up lady used, and the fact that my photographer kept the sun behind him a little more than he should have. I just don't notice my weight. I look like the "me" that I'm used to, the person who enjoys cider and Domino's and Krispy Kreme, but with the Disney princess dress of my dreams.

Before I got married, I couldn't think of anything more sad than being fat on my wedding day. I think that's what held me back from losing any of the weight I wanted prior to the wedding. It might be what's holding you back, too. As it turned out, I had the most frickin' awesome time, and I'm not held to that painful standard of never being as skinny as I was on my wedding day.

You'll be gorgeous. Just spend the wedding run-up taking care of yourself - it's hard work! Use your points wisely. Stuff yourself with fruit and veg; get all your calcium and iron and vitamin D. It'll fall into place.


Gabby said...

Argh, how frustrating. I'm sorry.
But you know, as long as you dont quit, you're still losing, and you're not getting any bigger, and that's a good thing.

Also, I totally agree with Becca's comments. Don't stress yourself out too much, it's counter productive. I was so terrified of being a fat bride I refused to go wedding dress shopping (I got it made, never even went to a shop), refused to go to any wedding planning related events, refused to do ANYTHING because basically, I thought I wasn't good enough. I never did lose the weight for the wedding, just worked myself into a miserable frenzy, and missed out on all these things I can never do again. People of all shapes and sizes get married, you know. DO NOT miss out on anything.

At the end of the day, despite the distress, when i look at our wedding photos they make me happy because I LOOK so happy. My husband wanted to marry me for me. He didn't care what I looked like. It was about being together, and being in love, and celebrating with our family.

Don't lose sight of what is really important. It will just make you miserable.

Lesley said...

Hear hear to all 3 comments above!! I was 13.7 on my wedding and it was a fantastic day!! I looked great and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. So, do NOT heap extra pressure on yourself because of the wedding. Just keep on going and you will get there in the end, promise!!

You are already gorgeous honey.

Zumba sounds good - I want a full report!

Lesley xx