I had a little freak out last night when I got in to find bf clearly bothered by something but saying he was okay. He was particularly distant. What freaked me out was that he almost quoted what I'd said in yesterday's post about keeping cheerful.
I'm trying to keep a grip on reality. Firstly, I don't think he would be interested enough to look for my blog. Secondly - and most importantly - I think if he did find it (somehow) he'd be too honorable to read it.
But it did make me think that I can be horribly partisan in what I write and for the record, I suspect strongly that I am very annoying and frustrating to live with. My cringe-inducing need to please everyone all the time is a real character flaw - I know bf has said it doesn't feel like an equal relationship but more like parent/child sometimes and I know he finds that really frustrating. I really need to work on my own attitude and behaviour and stop moaning about his so much. For the record, he's strong, funny and clever and I love him very much - his absolute good sense and practical nature does balance my complete lack of these things too!