Thursday, 3 December 2009

Fact vs fiction

I moped when I finished the 4 Twilight books on Monday night – even though I didn’t care about one of the main characters in the last book (I was only interested in the Edward-Bella romance to be honest). I couldn’t think what to read next. I had other good books lined up but I didn’t feel they’d consume me in the same way (which might not be a bad thing I suppose). So I started on Twilight again on Tuesday night and have almost finished it; will then read the others again and then move on and get a life! At least for a short time... I’m banning myself from re-reading them this side of Christmas. Lesley – beware, or at least clear your diary! I resented ANY interruption or anything that kept me from reading. Like work, or conversation.

Reading the Twilight books made me feel sad that I could never have that sort of incredibly intense, passionate, all-consuming relationship. Not least because those things remain firmly in the world of fiction. But also because I am Miss Ordinary. Which is part of my problem I think. I think that part of the reason I feel so unhappy at the moment is that I am chafing against being me. If that makes sense. And fiction is partly to blame. I have always read a great deal and my earliest crushes were always for fictional characters (Mr Darcy and Aragorn being chief suspects) rather than film/pop stars. And I think somehow I’ve lost sight of the face that fiction is not real life – which is what makes it interesting after all. Now with the countdown to 40, I can’t help but think ‘is this it?’. But I’m comparing my life with fictional characters, not with real-life people. It’s particularly daft as I already know that if I were in a book, I wouldn’t be the main character anyway – I’d be the bit part to heighten the desirability of the heroine in contrast (as I posted a few posts ago). So there’s no point in feeling as dissatisfied and wistful and just plain sad as I do. I need to accept my lot and be reconciled to it. Embrace it even. As ever, wouldn’t it be easier to be a bloke? Then my mid life crisis would be solved by simply buying a motor bike or having my ear pierced or shagging a junior member of staff half my age. Of course, it’s good news for cyclists and junior members of staff everywhere.

And it’s just as well I’m not a vampire in Twilight or with my self control and willpower, half the population would have been massacred. It would be one way of dealing with over-population I suppose!

Having said that, the eating hasn’t been too bad over the last few days – probably because I’ve not been in the office. Now I’m back I somehow need to keep that vibe going. And then I need to go further – to get more exercise in (or indeed any) and get some blubber off and back into clothes that don’t actually cause me physical pain. Always a benefit I think. I was also pleased to be back with bf last night and felt very snuggly even though he isn’t an intense, passionate, moody, flawed character madly in love with me! He makes an excellent hotwater bottle though – which is more than you can say for Edward*!

* Yet another tedious Twilight reference.... My obsession will wane soon, I promise. Er, I think.... Oh dear, I am such a tragic sucker for an intense, passionate love story. No pun intended.


Fionna said...

"..........Of course, it’s good news for cyclists and junior members of staff everywhere........"

Ha ha - you crack me up

Fionna xx

Tricia said...

I just haven't jumped on the Twilight bandwagon yet. Maybe I should start with the books....

Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

I tend to get caught up in crushes on almost every character Colin Firth has played...probably more to do with Colin Firth himself than anything else. But who knows, maybe in real life his wife or girlfriend is looking at him like HE'S a hot water bottle...but then again, probably not. Probably just hot.

I liked the "of course, it's good news for cyclists and junior members of staff everywhere", too! haha

You are the heroine of your own life, Peridot. Don't you forget it!

Lesley said...

Oh nooooo - this book (which I still haven't properly started is looking like it's going to be trouble for me. I loooove a passionate romance.

We're all the hero's of our stories just sometimes our leading men can be a bit of a let down!! Tee hee

I was after Colin Farrell and got Jimmy Rabbit.....but it's made me appraise the junior members of staff at work in a whole new light now I've realsied I could take the male alternative to mid-life angst!!

Lesley x

Lesley x

Alice said...

Peridot, you are selling yourself far too short if you think you're not main character material - you are definitely a heroine in my book! (excuse the pun...)

Call me Ishmael said...

Peridot, my soul sister across the pond, it is SCARY how much we think alike. From migraines to wine to cheesy romances and a preference for fictionalized life over the real thing (except when our partners are snuggly and nice), we share many a quirk. I too am prone to mooning over romantic heroes and wondering why I'm not living the heroine's role. Nevermind that I'm comparing my real life to a complete fantasy, as you correctly note. That somehow gets left out of my illogical thoughts.

By the way, how was your American thanksgiving dinner? I'm curious how you liked your sweet potato with marshmallow. That's a southern dish, typically. I never had it growing up, since I lived up north.

Claire said...

I agree with Alice - you are selling yourself far too short. What do you want to do or to be (except a vampire!) - why not try to make it happen? I'm trying to get published again. Why give up on dreams?

Badger said...

I still haven't read the 4th book as I don't want it to end. I'm going to wait as long as poss.
I not only have the Twilight obsession but I also have a teenage-like Robert Pattinson obsession. I wish I was young enough to plaster my bedroom walls with posters! xx