Friday, 28 December 2007

It's oh so quiet

Well, nothing much seems to be happening in blogland. I wonder if that's because everyone is so off piste that they don't want to confront it? Well, if that's the case, don't despair spacepack pals, everyone eats too much over Christmas and puts on weight. Yes, even Kate Moss. Bet you. So this is just being an ordinary person. January is for sensible (ie no) eating and sensible (no) spending. Not a fun month.

Having said all that, I have had moments of going a bit too mad. I know I have to go on the detested spacepacks (well, assuming I ever hear from my CDC) and this seems to be engendering a panic whereby I have to eat everything very quickly in the meantime - everything highly in calorifies and low in nutrients anyway. I know I've put on weight but I'm too chicken (or too full of chicken) to weigh myself. But my clothes are starting to feel tight so I'm not deluding myself. I feel full of doom. And chocolate, and cake, and..... In fact I've eaten so much rich food that I'm actually looking forward to going back to the purity (!) of the diet. In a way. Once I've eaten x and y of course. I just hope that in the spring when I finish this crazy diet (it must be the spring or I shall definitely go mad) I won't feel I have to cram a load of naughty treats in to a short space of time - it won't be a hiatus before going back to the diet so I'll have plenty of time and can eek out those treats. One thing I haven't done (although have noticed the destructive thoughts creeping in and have squashed them (something I must be better at whilst heavier!)) is think that although I've snacked alot and am therefore not actually hungry, I still have to have proper meals too. I know it's so pathetic that it's not really progress but it's a baby step.

And food splurging seems to go with shopping splurging. I really don't have any money (debt yes, money no - I am officially time poor AND cash poor which doesn't seem quite fair!) so I mustn't do this but once I start it's hard to stop. Like eating chocolate. There must be a link there - and a way to moderation somewhere - but I can't find it. I always have been a bit all or nothing but it's a topsy-turvey way to live. I guess it's about 'treating' myself but how I overcome those very ingrained thoughts I just don't know. Answers on a postcard... (Or blog comment)

Won't post now until the New Year so I hope you're all enjoying the festive season and have a wonderful New Year. 2008 is going to be great for us - just wait and see.

1 comment:

Conn76 said...

Hey there..

Yes, I think it is very quiet as everyone feels a little ashamed to put down that box of pringles and type about the gluttony. I am trying to slap myself back into reality at the moment and I know that blogging and forum related fun is the answer - well, that and not eating.

But I am right there with you - which makes me think that many of us are probably in the same boat.

Good luck - and keep us posted!