The stage 3 went pretty well so I was devastated to hear I didn’t get the job. To say it’s been a torturous process is an understatement and I can’t – yet – pick myself up out of my slump of sadness and disappointment.
The stage 2 went less well but confirmed to me that, much as I liked the organisation, I really didn’t want the job. I didn’t get it either so didn’t have to feel bad about turning it down or agonising about whether I ‘should’ take it. I had to go along, knowing I’d not got the job I really wanted and feeling utterly miserable and yet pretend to be all perky and enthusiastic. And the tubes weren’t running properly either so I arrived late and stressed.
My eating has not been great – I only managed one starve day last week because of concentrating on the interviews and then on Friday when perhaps I should have done one, I was just too low.
Since then, I’ve had a 3 day (so far) migraine and a fall and am feeling absolutely lousy. Life feels like a bit of a slog at the moment. But when this migraine lifts, that in itself will make me feel better, I’m sure. It has to go tomorrow as I have my wine exam and have booked a day’s leave to cram a bit. I don’t know how I’d manage to study – much less do the exam – whilst I’m feeling like this.