Why is it that the time of year when there are sales on is also the time of year when you are at your lardiest and least confident which makes buying anything both soul-destroying and futile? It seems a cruel twist of fate. Of course I mean I am at my lardiest and least confident, I am sure, dear Reader, that you look radiant and gorgeous in anything you try on. But I've ordered and sent back two dresses, five jumpers/tops and a skirt. It's not good for the confidence or the wardrobe.
Which brings me on to resolutions. I genuinely think that my NY resolution has been to lose weight since I was about 12. Even when, looking back, I really didn’t need to. So it goes without saying that that needs to be a resolution for 2013. It’s just I’m trying to think how to frame it so that it’s a bit more meaningful and so that it sticks and feels a bit fresh and different. I think that it needs to be something like...
Resolution 1: I want to finish 2013 in the stone bracket lower than I’ve spent the last two years in. In my own slightly opaque way, I would call this stone bracket Chubby. I’ve spent the last two years ricocheting around the Porky bracket and am currently either up in the Fat or Very Fat bracket. Cowardice prevents me knowing exactly where I am. Obviously I am going to have to actually heed Lesley’s advice and bite that particular unpleasant bullet. Soon.
In dress size terms I am an 18 at the moment I think (admittedly mostly wearing 16s) and I’d like to be a small and consistent 14 by the end of the year. I’d actually really like to be a small 16 by the time we head off on honeymoon at the end of May but I’m not sure if that’s possible. Scratch that, I NEED to be a small 16 by then. Hmmm. A normal person could easily lose 3st by then. I am not a normal person.
Resolution 2: I want to get some decent hiking gear. Sound simple? I have no idea what that might look like. On New Year’s Day I was out in particularly unattractive fleece joggers, a fleece top and – guess what – a fleece jacket. I felt like a bag lady escaped from a care in the community centre. Hell, I probably looked like one too. I like the padded gilet over a hoody look for a top – but as a woman with more than enough ‘natural’ padding, is this a good idea? And what to wear on my bottom half (which is, as it goes, overly endowed with bottom). Jeans are the only trousers I normally wear as they’re structured enough to hold the jelly bits together but are no good for hiking because if they get wet they’re awful. And the top needs to cover arse and belly. Any ideas? Has anyone found a way to look good(ish) in this scenario? I keep seeing women in leggings, big hoodies and gilets but am not sure I can pull this off.