I'm trying to claw my way out of this muddy, murky pit and determinedly setting my face to the sky and heaving myself upwards up and out - I hope. Another WI and I'm still the same weight. It's been 3 weeks STS and the week before that I put on 5lbs (a long weekend in Devon). My fear is that this is a pattern - I lose little and seldom over weeks and weeks and weeks and then something happens like a weekend away or Christmas or my birthday, I put on a scary amount, whilst actually practising restraint, and I can't lose it; my fear is that I'm stuck on an upward trajectory, despite my efforts.
But I have to swallow that fear (calorie free, friends! But not tasty..) and grit my teeth and carry on. So, this week bring renewed determination. My plan is:
1. Cut the meringues. I love them and I can't stop eating them. I don't seem to be able to practice moderation so they - and I'm weeping as I type this - have to go. Sob.
2. Email SWise One everything I eat (god this woman is going to be bored, bless her)
3. 5 syns a day max during the week to save enough for dinner out on Saturday night
4. Clever choices on Saturday night
5. I cycled today and hope to on Friday (although bizarrely my knee is really hurting) and we plan a long walk on Saturday
6. Lots of superfree veg and fruit (not a problem for me)
It's not a brilliant plan as I pretty much do this anyway but I'm hoping more vigour and scrutiny might help. Got to be worth a shot.
I hate that I seem to live from WI to WI, hoping for good news - what a ridiculous way to live. If I can crack it that I can consistently lose weight most weeks (ah, nirvana!) then I think I can relax and enjoy the moments in between. Because life slips by pretty quickly and I don't want to look back and only remember dieting.
In an effort to wrench myself away from this thinking and where it goes (in spirals of descending despair and - I suspect - ultimately to madness and maybe chocolate), I am going to end by thinking about the weekend just gone. We did two walks which we'd not done before - always lovely - and both are likely to become favourites. The first which I'd cavalierly estimated as 6 miles was actually about 11 but really beautiful and with a pub handily just over half way along for a lunch stop next time. (This time I took chicken drumsticks and chicory bulbs - I dropped my chicken whilst de-skinning it, such are the wages of virtue, sigh.) Then another shorter one with Southwold Pier about halfway round where you can get a mean cappuccino (Southwold is very chi-chi) whilst surrounded by sea. We went out to dinner which was lovely, had a terrifying conversation about wedding budgets (seriously, how does anyone ever afford to do this?!) and met up with friends and my god-daughter to chose our favourite Barbies from her staggering collection (there were at least 40 and they were just the A list): bf chose a redhead, that's my boy!