Friday, 11 March 2011

Four f*ck's sake!

It’s getting a bit difficult to keep the faith and not implode in a sticky mess of sugar, tears and despair. It’s the 4th week where I’ve stayed the same. I would add that I have been within points – I have used some of my flexi points but rarely use all of them. I never dip into exercise points (not that there were many this week when I haven’t cycled).

I’m still:
• 4lbs heavier than before Christmas
• 12lbs heavier than when I finished Lighter Life
• 1st 2lbs (roughly) heavier than my lightest weight (in memory)
• About 4st heavier than my goal weight

Oh yeah, and
• Fed up
• Demotivated
• Depressed

Moving along very slowly is frustrating enough, but this is a total stalling and it sucks big time. I’m trying to keep a stiff upper lip but it’s starting to wobble a bit. And it’s making me feel a bit sloppy about counting – I know this doesn’t make sense logically but it makes me feel very half-hearted about the whole thing – why bother if continually resisting doesn’t get me anywhere? It’s okay, that’s a rhetorical question.

It’s as if I’m doing my bit but not being met half way by SoD (or, er, at all!) and it saps my energy for keeping it up. And dieting does require quite a bit of mental energy I think. Shame really that mental energy doesn’t burn calories.

Sooo, this weekend: I am meeting a long-lost friend tonight (please see losing motivation – I feel like drinking (which I rarely allow myself to do because of the calories) and going somewhere indulgent for dinner, sigh), nothing tomorrow and to see the potential wedding venue at the crack of dawn on Sunday.

I thought we’d sorted the wedding venue but the contract threw up a host of problems and they’ve not been terribly helpful in sorting things out (including one email that made me so angry I had to go and breathe. For about 4 hours. And then bf vetoed my response! It was probably just as well). I have at least come to the conclusion that the woman I’ve been dealing with is a bit incompetent and socially inept rather than actually deliberately obtuse and rude. Fortunately the caterers run the actual day and they seem very efficient and simpatico.

And last - but not least - thanks all for your lovely comments about my Grandma.


Seren said...

Awww, Peridot, I can see how you would be completely and utterly fed up.

Dieting (well, I don't like to use that word, so let's say pointing) takes a LOT of mental energy. Often it's not the eating part that is the (major) problem - I mean, I don't feel I eat substantially differently when on plan than I would off plan - but the planning and the counting and the trading one thing off against another - that takes time and effort.

I suppose the next question is, what are the other options? If WW isn't working is it time to consider something else? Or tweaking how you follow WW by considering the usual questions: are you eating too much or any one particular food group, are you over or underestimating points, are you varying what you eat...blah, blah fishcakes.

Don't despair, try and enjoy your weekend and hopefully between the sum total of the blogosphere hopefully we can come up with some sort of meaningful help...


Lesley said...

Hey hon. What a bastard!! Sorry it's not happening for you on the lbs off front. I was going to say exactly what Seren said, namely, have you considered trying something different?? Atkins (modified), South Beach, Slimming World?? The change might reactivate your interest and jolt your recalcitrant metabolism into action again....

Good luck with the wedding venue and have a lovely time with long-lost friend, you deserve it.

Lesley xx

Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

I just read your beautiful post about your grandma - it sounds like she was a wonderful woman! You were very lucky to have her in your life. How did she manage to dance with Clark Gable??? A remarkable lady (and a great description of what she meant to you).

I have no nuggets of wisdom to pass on to weight loss is also stalled at the moment.

All I can say is I'm not giving up, not one bit. And you'd better not, either!

Have a fantastic time with your long-lost friend (B?) and rejoice in the things going right.

In the end, after all the wedding stuff is done, you WILL be married and you'll be wearing your grandmother's ring. The rest is, well, just details.

I can't even remember what we ate at our wedding...

Gabby said...

What a pain in the arse! After all your hard work you deserve a payoff. I predict you'll have a big sudden loss one week. I remember once I stayed the same for 3 weeks then dropped 6 pounds in one go. So keep at it, and if you do fall off the wagon a bit, don't beat yourself up. Totally understandable, and maybe a break will be good for you.

Call Me Ishmael said...

How do your clothes feel? Any looser? SOD maybe isn't giving you the whole picture these days? Hang tough, Peridot.