Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Purple haze

You know that things have not been going well when you weigh yourself (a feat of some heroism in my case – I felt the fear and I did it anyway) and are relieved to find that you have STS. I put it down to being frequently cold, especially when wading through knee-deep snow as I have not been pointing this last week – there has been severe provocation, I hasten to add. First there was my mother’s birthday, then the snow and being snowbound and my boss’s extreme passive aggression over this when I finally made the epic journey in. Then we had a great meal at the Hotel Inspector’s Crown and Castle in Suffolk – lovely food, great service, gorgeous toasty fire. Then there was the adventure of Saturday night which I described thus to my friend yesterday:

We go to freezing tin hut, I flush the loo and it sounds like a slush puppy machine. We leave and go for lunch (that bit was good). We come home and bf has a post whisky nap (and wine and beer). I notice a spreading wet patch next to the bath. I wake up bf with the words "So what does a burst pipe look like?". This does the trick and he springs to his feet. I go out in the cold and the dark to turn the water off, bf takes the side off the bath and identifies a cracked pipe where water is coming out "like a water pistol". We tog up to walk to the on-site staff who shrug and direct us to a 6 year old Yellow Pages "in the thingy". We had to question closely to establish what "the thingy" was - a phone box. The only 2 numbers which are still current and anyone answers, decline to come to a mobile home. We pack up and leave at 8.20pm. It is dark and rainy and there are patches of thick fog. It takes me 3 hours to drive home (bf regretful that his lack of sobriety forces him to take the back seat (driver)). I have a headache, I am fed up, tired and hungry. I stop at McDonalds at 11.30pm and eat Big Mac and baby (cold) fries. Then a Big Purple One.

Actually I should refrain from eating too many Big Purple Ones lest I become a Big Purple One (I am fond of purple) in the same way that I fear I am becoming the embodiment of Ginger Pig (Big Purple Ginger Pig anyone?!).

On Sunday I decide that to use the unexpected and unwanted time in London to proper effect, I’d try to get a coat that kept me slightly warm. Since it’s absolutely bloody freezing. We drive towards Bluewater only to find that the queue to get off the motorway on to the turn – before the shopping centre is even open – goes back over a junction. Coat hunt is instantly aborted and we go to Wahaca for lunch. Which includes a shared portion of churros with hot dipping chocolate and cold caramel. We then have canapés for supper with red fizz and a glass of sherry. And a Big Purple One. Only a slight return to sanity (and a side order of laziness) prevents me making mince pies.

Anyway, the coat story ends well with bf buying me a terrifyingly expensive coat from Hobbs (olive and heather herringbone tweed) as an early Christmas present last night. I have resisted buying a decent coat since embarking on LL (4 years ago?) on the basis that I won’t know what size I am the following year. Well, of course I am still hoping to be much smaller next year but based on performance thus far, it seems silly (and chilly) to procrastinate further (and maybe I could have it taken in? You know, if...). I bought the smaller of the two sizes I tried on – even bf (who inclines to brutal frankness) said the larger one was too big. The smaller one (my current dress size) is slightly snug and I mustn’t allow Christmas to make it impossible to wear. Or there will be questions in the house. Or the flat/tinhut anyway. So really I need to lose some in order to mitigate the inevitable putting on over the Big (Purple?!) Week.

Today is not a good day to decide on this. Tonight is our work party. Groan. In a Chinese that was closed down for maggots in the food last year. Bet it doesn’t stop me though! Unless there are actual maggots of course – even I wouldn’t scarf those down. I won’t drink for fear of becoming very frank with some of my colleagues which saves a) calories and b) drunken consumption of anything and everything. As it is, I was forced to issue the following after threats of “super-fun party games” – “I think I have made my position on this clear. Greatly as I esteem you all (or most of you), I will not be participating in anything that requires bodily contact with any of you. Fact.”

Then on Saturday we’re having a festive supper with my mother before our carol concert (assuming we can actually get to a rehearsal or the actual performance) but then I think, think, that’s it until Christmas proper. Assuming I don’t fall headlong into a vat of Big Purple Ones (or its evil twin, the Big Gold One), and if I can negotiate around the maze of disaster that is the propoints labyrinth, then I ought to be able to lose a bit, don’t you think? And we have walks planned for in between Christmas and New Year – including our marathon 12.5 miler which we’ll have to set off for at c9am to get back before dark. That ought to burn a few calories. But I fear Chubby is still but a distant dream.


Linz M said...

I would be over the moon with a STS this week, alas, I doubt that is to be.

Christmas is hard, too much temptation and frivolity. Good luck :)

So - the Actifry: go to www.homeandcook.co.uk and enter the code WWSAVE90 at the checkout. Saves you £90 :) I got mine in this way last year.

Linz x

Seren said...

I think you should be chuffed with a STS after what sounds like a hellish week. And the coat sounds beautiful - I adore Hobbs but tend to avoid it for much the same reason as you, always the vague hope that next year I'll be three sizes smaller! Enjoy wearing it. And enjoy your office party!!


Lesley said...

I think my period of enforced bloglessness has caused me to miss something.....what is STS?? I feel so ignorant as clearly everyone else knows.....

Aaaa, my brain cells have ground into slow action....could it be "stay the same"???

If so, well done!

Anyway, sory about frozen pipes. I fear I have the same problem in the kitchen sink currently. can't find a wodge of fat in the U-bend so think it must be frozen outside.... Grrr.

I have written your Works Party game mantra down as it looks very thorough and seems to cover all eventualities. I doubt our lunch will be very festive this year as the redundancies have just kicked in today - great timing eh? I'm alright jack but still very sad for those involved.

Anyway, I'm waffling now, it's so nice to be back in touch. One last thing - STAY AWAY FROM THE BIG PURPLE ONES!!!!!

Lesley xxx