Another week has slipped past. A week in which I have lost zilch. I have been pick, pick, picking at sugary snacks from the smack table. I have to stop this. I have some dates when I know I will be eating and/or drinking and apart from that I have to be super virtuous. I had wanted to lose another 7lbs by the end of the month and given that I have 2 days when I know I will have a meal (and another on 1 Dec) it's getting a bit iffy whether I'll make that. It's so hard though! I hate the packs and I keep having what I suspect is LL "crooked thinking" by wondering if I couldn't do it without the CD packs - a miso soup for lunch, a small piece of protein and some veg for supper (don't know what for breakfast). This would be much more pleasant and probably cheaper but could I really do it? Would I have to come back to CD, tail between (chubby) legs?
As it is, we had friends over for dinner on Saturday and I cooked. I really enjoyed the whole social experience of it - but my tolerance for wine seems to have dramatically fallen and I was quite light-headed. Will have to be ultra careful of that. I've never been someone who drinks until they're ill - I suffer quite enough with headaches anyway to want to induce more of them. So I knew what I could drink (pre LL) and that seems to have changed. I tried to cook reasonably healthily without penalising our friends - we had a warm squash salad to start, then beef cooked in beer with chestnuts and mushrooms with spiced red cabbage, pigs in blankets (admittedly not very healthy) and potato and celeriac mash, cheese (I had a smidgeon and I never bother with cheese biscuits anyway) and pears roasted in marsala with cinnamon and walnut marscapone cream. I deliberately didn't over cater and there's still loads left for the b/f to eat up. Mostly mash and cabbage so he'll have to embrace his Irish ancestry for that!
And it's our 'anniversary' tomorrow - only of when we had our first date (very juvenile) and we will have a meal together - b/f suggested a chinese takeaway since we first ate chinese together 14 years ago. It's not the healthiest choice (I had thought of going out for a big platter of fruits de mer) but it's more within our meagre and Christmas-anticipating budget. And I will make healthy choices (avoid rice especially - which I LOVE) and not being in a restaurant means not being tempted (and let's face it, giving in to temptation is something I do all too easily) by desserts. Then a work party on 29th - held by a private sector firm we use so there'll be free food and drink and un-squalid surroundings! We're very excited. That'll be fizz and canapes. And then my mother's birthday on 1st which IS going to be in a fish restaurant (Loch Fyne) and therefore easy to choose the path of virtue.
Although I have accepted that I can't be rigid and 100% pure about this diet any longer, equally I don't want it to become an excuse not to put my all into it the rest of the time. Even if I go for the non pack format (and I'm only thinking about that at this stage). Next time I write I want to be able to report that I'm being good and reaping the rewards. Hope you're all having a more uncomplicated journey at present. Any advice on whether my thinking is crooked or not would be really welcome, oh wise blogland pals.