I am not a number (but certainly not a free woman either!)

I’m not good with numbers.  In fact, I’d go so far as to say I’m mildly dyscalculate – long strings of numbers (well, anything over 4) are very difficult for me to read and numbers don’t stick in my head easily – it feels as if they literally slide off the surface of my mind.  I’m not good at maths either – or as a result of, who knows.

So working out all the stats around weight is doubly traumatic.  Especially as, for me, everything is so emotionally charged.  I sometimes find it hard to work out how much I’ve lost, even.  But one thing I know: it’s never enough!  I’m trying to keep a weekly tally as well as a daily one as it gives me a better sense of scale and perspective.  I think.  This week I’ve either lost 2lbs or 3lbs.  I say ‘either’ as I did my WI on Thursday which is directly after a starve day – this isn’t a real loss as it does a lurch down and then comes up a bit on a regular day.  That’s why I’m hoping that from hereon in a weekly tally will be a better indicator.  So, it was 3lbs off last week, after a starve day, 2lbs as of this morning.  Either of these results would normally make me very happy – but I blipped (blimped?) up a sudden 2lbs last week and if you discount that as a cruel and unusual anomaly, it would mean I’ve either lost 1lb or nothing.  Which, sadly, would tie in with my usual stellar rate of weight loss.  Ah well, by next week, things should be clearer.

I’m actually considering another diet tweak: has anyone heard of Jane Plan?  Essentially it’s ‘ambient’ food packages, delivered to you, to form a day’s meals, once you include vegetables (and possibly fruit, I’m not sure) and milk/yoghurt to have with granola.  I love the concept of ‘ambient’ food as I always think of it as ‘ambivalent’ food – food pouch: ‘yeah, well you could eat me but I’m not sure it’s the right move’.  I once did Diet Chef and it does sound similar.  I don’t recall great things from the Diet Chef experience (other than discovering that a) trying to store a month’s worth of food is nigh on impossible and b) I do actually like butter beans), which is one reason I dither, but I thought I could incorporate into my own possibly weird diet plan. 

Each day’s Jane Plan menu equates to 1200 calories.  So I could do two starve days, 3 Jane Plan days and my slightly more relaxed weekend dieting days – so I could have some wine on a Saturday and eat the same thing as P.  It appeals for three reasons: 1) I would absolutely know with confidence that on those 3 days I was eating 1200 calories, 2) I’m about to have a very busy time at work and having something to eat three times a day which requires very little effort is appealing and 3) I’m hoping it might help in dropping some weight for Operation Flop and Drop (my sun, sea, sand and stress holiday coming up).  If it were very successful, I’d even consider doing it 5 days a week and skipping starve days – but let’s not get too carried away at this point.  Although I’m still unsure that starve days plus massive workload is going to be realistic in any case.

Seren: you asked what I eat on a starve day.  I think I am a poor role model for this (and, thinking about it, for many things) as I want to think as little about food as possible when I’m that hungry and so go for easy stuff.  There are many sites online and books that show lovely things you can cook, should you be of that persuasion (and I think you are....!).  Gabby recommended someone to me actually so do ask her.  But me?  This is what I have:

·         A cappuccino – a reasonably sized one, not a US style bucket of hot milk in the morning

·         2 x Alpen Light cereal bars usually mid day and mid afternoon.  These are not delicious – just palatable.

·         An apple to be deployed as required

·         One of the ‘skinny’ cartons of fresh soup: I tend to have Glorious Malaysian Tomato  or Covent Garden Piri Piri Chicken with extra Worcester sauce.  Both of these are very nice so I have one on one starve day and the other on the second. 

As I say, very basic and not at all the sort of thing that a foodies like you and your husband might want to emulate.

But the next starve day is Monday and in the meantime I have a plethora of loveliness lined up.  Tonight I am going to the Tintin exhibition – and dragging long-suffering husband along – and then to Franco Manca for one of their very excellent cheese-light, sourdough pizzas (for which I am currently starving myself).  Tomorrow we’re going to the Celts exhibition at the British Museum – after we’ve gone for a nan bread bacon sarnie at Dishooms for breakfast and then a long walk back through the eerily empty City.  That represents my food relaxation for the weekend – well, the entire week – so frugality will be employed for the rest of the weekend and I’m very much looking forward to my weekend.