Friday, 22 January 2016


When I got on the Scales of Doom to find that my weight had gone up, I managed to get a grip before (admittedly only fractions of a second before) I went into full freak out.  Breathing through the panic, I told myself that there was NO WAY that I could do a starve day and lose precisely zip.  It was SoD messing with my mind.  Yes, it was upsetting; yes, it was annoying as it was official WI for the week and showed me up 1lb – but it wasn’t factually accurate.  Clearly.

I therefore confronted SoD today with grim determination – and the confidence that I could move into the weekend with a more realistic idea of what I’d achieved.  Except my weight had gone up again.  Almost 2lbs. 

Now, I know I had a good day yesterday and I know I’d had a good week (bar those two slabs – and I don’t think they can totally explain this.  Yes the initial rise but not the two subsequent ones).  This defies logic.  Equally, I was aware I felt very bloated – I can’t get my engagement ring off and my stomach feels painfully swollen.  I think my period is now officially overdue.  So again, I’m trying to keep a grip and tell myself that I’m doing the right thing and all I can do is keep calm and carry on (oh, how hackneyed has that phrase become!  But opportune in this instance).  Neither keeping calm nor carrying on is easy at this point.  But I just have to do it.

In other dieting news: I’ve signed up to Jane Plan.  They – by default – sign you up for 3 months and put a financial arrangement in for each month which I think is naughty, but I’ve just cancelled the two subsequent payments.  I’ll decide after a month whether I want to continue or not, thanks very much.  I’m a little worried by ‘ambient’ (remember: not (necessarily) ambivalent) food pouches, but as I have proven over the years, I’ll try pretty much anything in my endless, fruitless drive to ditch the lard.  It looks as if it will be here for me to start – tidily – on Thursday the day I have my WI (and, 9 times out of 10, the day after my second starve day of the week incidentally). 

As far as I can see, it’s a calorie counted diet – the three meals and a snack add up to c1200 calories.  I am not sure whether this includes the fruit and vegetables you’re supposed to add in or not.  There is a nod to low-carb – fruit is restricted to a few berries with breakfast and two other portions and the fruit they recommend is a the lower carb end of the scale (cool-climate fruit instead of hot-climate fruit – at least lychees are going out of season now or I’d miss them).  But there is quite a lot of pasta in the evening meal choices – and it seems to be in the evenings that they advocate cutting the carbs.  Hmmm.

Breakfast is granola or porridge (porridge makes me starving so I’ve gone entirely for granola) with LF yoghurt (0% Total for me) and a few berries. Lunch is soup or some bean/couscous-or-similar based salads which I am highly dubious about, and dinner has quite a wide choice so difficult to summarise.  You also get a mid afternoon snack – I’ve gone mainly for dark chocolate since I’m not a biscuit fan – and are encouraged to have a crudite style mid-morning snack as well as being told to add salad or veg at lunch and dinner.  You can have fruit with lunch too – and I think another piece as a snack – but not after dinner.  I’ll find that hard.

I’ll let you know – interested or not! – what the various pouches are like because, selfishly, this will remind me if I decide to order more.  There are a lot of joyous exclamations on the site that you can lose 12lbs in the first month, but much as I’d like to believe that, I, well... don’t.  Not for me, I mean with my track record.  But if I could lose 2lbs a week, I’d be very well satisfied.  If I lost the average 3lbs pw that make up that 12lbs I’d be deliriously happy!

I’m tinkering with it a bit by doing 3 x JP days, 2 x starve days and then eating with P for the evening meal on Saturday and Sunday (nothing outrageous, just normal food).  Saturday will also include sharing a bottle of wine.  Hopefully those two days will be offset by the starve days.  And by mixing it up I hope not to get stuck in a rut – mental or physical.


Stephbospoon said...

I am exhausted reading this. I don't understand why you have signed up for the Jane plan if you don't think it will work? May as well give it a red hot go without all that 5:2. You were doing so well on slimming world as well!
I read something yesterday that eating after fasting can make you bloat, especially in the hands and feet due to the stress it puts on the body. Hope it goes down soon. And SoD needs to do one too ;-)

Seren said...

I hope you get the results that you so richly deserve, although to a certain extent I am with Steph - SW was working well for you at the end of last year and perhaps slow but consistent is better than the (literal) highs and lows that you seem to be experiencing at the moment. As for two shortbreads causing a weight gain - you know and I know and we all know that it just isn't possible - bloating is a total biatch for messing with the figure on the scales.

Hope the ambient pouches are far from ambivalent! Keep us posted.