Was it because I mooted the stone bracelet idea? Was it because I started to hope and anticipate days when I didn’t feel so bad about myself? I don’t know. Because after a good week - which included skipping two breakfasts and two dinners – in which I reined back the booze and skipped pudding when we ate out, I lost ½ lb.
You’ll recall that I put on 1 ½ lb last week. I’d had a lot of booze and so I accepted it, painful as it was as the previous week I had only ½ lb to go before I hit a stone off. That milestone seems to be moving further away rather than getting closer at the moment. I now have 1 ½ lbs to go to hit that target. It feels like reverse.
I’m trying to be if not sanguine, at least philosophical and stoical. I’m trying to block it off in my mind and just plod onwards, hoping for better next week. I’m trying not to have an inward temper tantrum and think ‘sod it’ and eat with abandon. Because let’s face it dear Reader, whilst it might be short term gratification, it will not mean I can wear my favourite two linen shirts on the Canada trip (FOR WHICH WE’VE BOOKED OUR FLIGHTS! PREMIUM ECONOMY TOO! I’M VERY EXCITED!), it will not mean I can get back into my beloved tweed coat in the winter nor my gorgeous waxed jacked (and no, that’s not an oxymoron, it’s amazing – like a frock coat but wax) nor delve into the bags and bags of clothes cluttering up my wardrobe because they’re too small. So I need to – in what’s become an irksomely hackneyed phrase – keep calm and carry on.
But I wish I knew why. So that I could make sure I didn’t repeat that behaviour.
Right, I have a couple of social occasions in the week ahead which, as we know, dear Reader, means that alarms and klaxons are going off like crazy. Drinks tomorrow with one of my best friends (honorary brother and ex-boss) who is changing jobs and won’t be based in London any more (sob) and a former colleague of ours. And then supper with another of my best friends (honorary sister – seriously, we’ve been friends for 22 years) on Monday. She always wants to go to Wahaca (and bless her, she always pays so I figure she has that right) so I’ll have to look at the menu to choose the least damaging option. Something around salad I expect. Definitely not tacos with oozy cheesy yumminess in anyway. Sigh.