Monday, 3 November 2014

Snowbusiness (maybe)

I don’t think I’m losing weight – so am too scared to weigh.  The sickness has gone as a side effect but I also seem to have lost the positive side effect of just not being hungry very often.  It may all be academic anyway as I have to see my GP tomorrow to see if they’ll continue the treatment recommended by the specialist and they almost always won’t if it involves prescriptions.  It’s a shame as, weight aside, it’s had a dramatic effect on my blood sugar readings.

I’m still finding life hard.  I still feel like the booby prize in life’s raffle – the one that people constantly give back. 

And really, I should not whinge or whine or feel sorry for myself.  Work is – generally – good.  P is occasionally sideswiped by a tsunami of grief but is coping pretty well.  I have friends going through hard times and I should be counting my blessings.  Pretty hard to climb out of that rut though.  Or maybe I’m just the biggest wuss ever.

We’re talking about going away for a week in January.  We’ve not had a holiday and if I’m tired, I think P is exhausted.  Originally we planned to find some sun but this is harder than you might think if you want decent weather but don’t want to fly long haul anywhere.  As wonderful as it all sounded – and P wanted somewhere sunny he could flop by the pool for most of the holiday – I was starting to full scale panic about being too fat for this type of holiday.  I didn’t let on of course.  But I could see me being the only one in a skirt and t-shirt, huddled miserably on a sun lounger. 

As it is, we can’t find anywhere where it is a) sunny, b) not windy, c) not rainy and d) around 4 hours flying time.  Oman was the closest at 7-8 hours.  So we’re now thinking of holing up somewhere cold and snowy, seeing the Northern lights and short outdoorsy bursts of fun interspersed with hot chocolate and fires and books.  This doesn’t hold the same level of painfully self-aware trauma.  Let’s see if we can pull it off with a late deal before I start getting overly excited!*





* Except.  Reindeer!  Huskies!  Snow!  Fires!  Stars!  Snowy trees!

17 comments:

Gabby said...

I'm sorry thighs are a bit rough for you. I'm quite sure your self image is not remotely based in reality, so that makes me sad. I hope the GP offers good news and that you can plan a great holiday to look forward to and keep your spirits up.

Hazel said...

I don't often comment, but must recommend Tenerife. 4 hours flying time. sun, no wind. stupidly cheap in the back half of January. It is peopled by over 60's, sizable German frau and no supermodels.

You're right - life is too short not to seize the moment. Eat moderately, but not obsessively. Move more - much more. You enjoy walking, get on with it.

Oh - and no one is looking at you. Really, they are not. They are too busy worried about what people think of them.

I mean it about moving more - feels good, does you good.

Seren said...

I think one is allowed to have a bit of a whinge on one's own blog. It doesn't matter whether your problems are bigger or smaller than anyone else's- they are yours and perfectly valid.

I also think you're allowed to be a TEENY bit excited at the prospect of a snowcation. My friend is going off on a jaunt to Iceland soon and she is going to BUILD AN IGLOO and PLAY WITH HUSKIES! It is all very exciting.

Hope the doctor had good news for you.

Sx

Lesley said...

Oooh I'm so jealous of your snowcation. I have wanted to see the Northern Lights forever and combine that with huskies,well, my cup would runneth over!!

How did it go with the GP??

Hugs, Lxx

amy said...

Where the hell are you?😉

Blods said...

How are you? Come back soon!

Love Cat said...

Hey lady

Just checking in to see if you're okay?

Sending love x

Fionna said...

Where are you?? We're missing you xx

amy said...

Yes, please let us know you are okay.

Lesley said...

I miss you too. Hope you're enjoying a snow-cation. Don't put off coming back and starting again love. Just one teeny little step is all it takes to get going.

Thinking of you.

Lesley xx

amy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
amy said...

I really don't want to pry, but is there anyone who can tell us if Peridot is alright?

Rachel Black said...

Me too. Keep checking but no P. I've put in loads and am at my heaviest EVER! Need some support and witty self deprecating laugh inducing blogs from P...please?

Gabby said...

Hi - I wonder if you're reading these? I miss your posts. And more importantly, I really hope everything is ok.

Lesley said...

Hey readers of Peridot and commenters. Hope I'm not being too presumptuous but thought you might want to know. I emailed her and she seemed fine just January blahs (at least I hope so). So hopefully she'll be back soon. Lxx

amy said...

Thank you! Please give her my best!

Gabby said...

Thanks Lesley!