Of course, this renewal of my dedication to the carb-free life (SOB) needs to be evaluated. I know this. I have ordered a blood sugar monitor but of course, mentally screaming and kicking, I have forced myself to realise that the Scales of Doom will have to once more have a place in my life. A feared, despised, terrified place of disappointment, resentment and dashed hopes. A short period of time each week that I fear and which has the power to destroy not just my week, but my morale too.
Of course (again), I know I’m fatter. The fact that stuff doesn’t fit me makes that abundantly and painfully clear. I have however clung to the fact that at least I am not back at pre LL days. I reckoned I was about a stone off which was bad but at least I hadn’t undone all that pain.
I didn’t want to weigh myself for so many reasons but not least that I’ve been doing this for over a week and therefore wouldn’t see any initial slightly faster loss.
Out came SoD, covered in a film of dust but I could feel a malevolent energy underneath that (I had kinda hoped that the batteries would be dead). I am slightly heavier than before I started LL. Yes, fresh fat but the wrong way.
I believe that it’s customary at this point to make soothing noises about ‘never seeing those numbers again’ but I am living proof that this is not so.
I am assuming I was even heavier last week. Of course, my assumptions have proven to be absolute rubbish so far so who knows? What I will know is what I weigh next week.
But I don’t feel good. I'm struggling. I need a break (although obviously not a Kit Kat)