I admit it, I’m struggling at the moment. Even when I feel like I’m doing the right thing, it’s not translating into progress. I find it hard to break out of one of these cycles – usually I spin downwards like a spider down the plug hole, despite struggling. Not this time. Somehow I need to break out of this.
So first: the story so far. I lost 1lb last week and I put on 2lbs the week before. Maths is not my forte but I’m going in the wrong direction. And since then, the unofficial WI has shown a tear-stinging 4lbs on. Despite a wedding where I drank mineral water. For 9 hours. Which is WAY longer than a non-sober 9 hours FYI. And didn’t eat all my main or pudding – and spurned the sweetie table (sobs quietly to self) and evening buffet. I totally deserve a big loss after that, right?
So instead of going down below the half stone mark and towards the next bracket down, I’m heading, terrifyingly, back up to the one above. This makes me feel dreadful – physically, but emotionally even more. So it needs to stop. I need to break out of the pattern before I drown (yeah, I’m totally flogging the analogy – but it works for me at this point).
This is my action plan:
1. The only thing I haven’t abandoned is the almost daily weighing so continue with that.
2. Oh and the 2 x starve days. Still doing them, still hate them, still get some result from them. So keep those.
2. Blog more. I think I don’t because the apathy has got me – and I don’t like saying the same thing when the same thing is the ‘oh I’m not getting anywhere’ thing (I’d doubtless be delighted to continuously drone one about losing steadily). So twice a week I think (you’ll be sick of me).
3. Be really strict about things creeping in. Yes, even mini, low cal things. It all adds up to chubbsville.
4. Delineate the 3 phases of my diet – Mon and Wed = starve days (or 2 convenient non-sequential days). Other weekdays = dieting but only semi-starving and weekend is not a licence to go mad but to allow for one night with an aperitif and wine – and to eat healthy evening meals with P.
5. Find a replacement for Jane Plan (for semi-starve days) when I finish those packs (still got quite a lot – and not just because I’m avoiding eating the soup. I am now throwing those away). Maybe simple, boring calorie counting (although will have to decide what the calorie limit is).
Today has been a normal dieting day: I’ve done okay. Not brilliantly because I had half a Millie’s cookie. Which is better than a whole one but not as good as no cookie. I had an inordinately long internal dialogue, trying to justify eating the other half though – oh how I wanted to – and managed not to, so that is positive. I definitely think that sort of restraint ought to be rewarded with an instant lb off (see also: sweetie table, wedding cake (nope, none of that either) and evening buffet). That should take me to 4lbs off for good behaviour. Hmmm. Tomorrow is a starve day. Let’s see where that takes me to on Thursday (official WI day)