Okay, I’ve been sulking. I’m stuck on a plateau, putting on and taking off again the same sodding lb. This means when it’s off, I’m ½lb off getting in to the next stone down and when it’s on, it’s impossible. In the last month I’ve lost 2lbs. Even for a birthday month, that’s pretty poor. This morning another chubby lb joined it – I am going in the wrong direction.
I’m kind of torn. On the one hand, my surgeon said I’d lose 3lbs in the first three months (I haven’t). Then the company say most people lose the most weight in the second year, once the right fill level is established. Since I’m failing at the first, I’m hoping for the latter – although I’d rather take some more weight off in the next nine months please. I am not good at waiting at the best of times.
Of course there’s always a risk that you get what you wished for. My next fill is the Tuesday after we get home from holiday. I have to go back on liquids and then mush following that in any case. If the fill suddenly kicks in, I may not be able to eat much.
Still, as that comes after the holiday, it might be a relief. I am absolutely determined to not wreck everything in the course of two and a half weeks, but I know I will be eating differently and drinking more. Incidentally, is it acceptable to share a main course in the US? It’s just that I reckon if I ate a third of a pasta dish, say, and gave P two thirds, that would be about right for both of us – but if this is considered rude, I will have to accept wasting a lot of food in some of the more everyday places we’ll eat (we’re going to a couple of nice restaurants in Walla Walla, one of which we’ve been to before, and their serving sizes are fine). I really hate the feeling of being overly full – and I need to remember that when greed kicks in, if something is delicious. I’m thinking of the amazing diner in Cle Elum where their mac and cheese is delicious but larger than a family size portion from, say, M&S. And it comes with garlic bread! P had meatloaf there and it came with the amount of carrots you would give a large family with a roast. I’ve never seen so many carrots on one plate! They’re famous for pie (the pudding kind), but does anyone make it that far? I can’t imagine so!
I’m running on 90% nervous energy. I have a lot to do before leaving tomorrow. I absolutely don’t know if it will all fit, as I can’t make my brain stop panicking for long enough to have any sort of coherent thought. If only I were someone for whom nervous energy and stress translated into a metabolism running at warp speed. If only…
Assuming I don’t successfully claim asylum in Canada, or am taken down with the whole of the US (although West Coast has to be pretty safe, right) in a Trump-related incident, see you in October. Fatter, I know, but determined to get on and lose that weight and more.
