Eggstreme behaviour

Obviously I had to get a seasonal pun in there.  But now that crack is out of the way, let’s just get straight to the numbers, shall we?  Like ripping off a plaster: quick, decisive and painful.

Post-holiday WI said I’d put on 5lbs – it’s never good to put on, I was dreading weighing myself but this was for 3 weeks and I firmly told myself to suck it up and get working. First week back on the diet I lost 2lbs.  This is sounding like a happy story, right?  Then came Easter.  I put on a staggering 4lbs.  Yep, in a weekend.  A long weekend but essentially it’s 1lb a day.  Since I am currently comprised of 40% mini eggs, 30% other chocolate egg, 20% hot cross bun (slathered in butter) and 10% wine, this ought not to be the shock it was.  I don’t even like Cadbury’s chocolate but I swear they put crack in mini-eggs, I just cannot stop at a couple.  The only thing that makes me stop is running out.  So, it’s cold turkey for me on mini-eggs.  I can eek out the rest of my eggs in a normal, moderate and rationed (not to mention rational) way.  I am firmly back on the wagon, nose to the grindstone – and every other hackneyed phrase you can think of.

It’s not easy.  Even in 4 days, I got used to having something to eat when I was peckish – but no longer.  Today I’m on a Dieting Day Type 2 (Jane Plan packs) as I thought going straight into a starve day would be just too brutal.  So that, dear Reader, is something to look forward to tomorrow L.

I won’t be doing Jane Plan again – the dinners and the breakfasts suit me very well, but the lunches!  Ugh.  Seren asked how you could make soup unpalatable – well, it’s a good question.  I think they bung a load of starch in them to fill you up – but the taste!  Oh dear.  I’m still feeling intermittently queasy from the flu (or possibly mini-egg overdose) and just couldn’t face the soup today.  This happens quite a lot with their packs – kind of works as I end up just skipping them, but this is not the idea at all.

I do want to get back to proper, focused dieting.  We have a family wedding in a couple of weeks and I know what I want to wear.  No, OF COURSE I’ve not tried it on – I’m far too chicken for that.  Equally, I know I need to so I can make plans.  Luckily I think we’re not close enough family to be in the pics (it’s P’s nephew) so that’s one bullet avoided, but I find these things traumatic.  At least I’m around 2st lighter than I was at my cousin’s wedding a year ago.  The photos from that still haunt me.  Not that I look a whole lot better but at least it’s something.

After the wedding, the next thing to focus on as a goal to have shed more blubber is our holiday in October.  That’s our probable holiday at the moment – a few financial question marks before we can say with confidence that we’re going back to Canada, but we’re hopeful.  I’d definitely like for less of me to go away: the question is, what can I realistically achieve in 6 months.  I’d like to say 3 stone but my history would cast doubt on this: maybe another 2 stone?  I’d still not be into the zone where I’m not constantly self-conscious and only a social occasion away from a full freak-out, but any progress would help.  If I could lose 3 stone, I would be into the less-freaked-out zone – I’d still need to lose, but I wouldn’t be quite so distressed about myself.  Well, let’s see what I can do now I’ve stepped away from the mini-eggs.

So, Easter – did you have a good one?  Four days off work, chocolate and hot cross buns make for a pretty damn amazing public holiday in my opinion.  Until you hit up SoD that is and pay for your transgressions.  We had one fairly feeble hike – about 6 miles – since we’re still suffering post-flu fatigue and this was the only opportunity to get out without being soaked, pelted by hail or blown over (possibly the extra egg/bun ballast would have prevented the latter). 

P seems to be getting a 2^nd dose of the flu – or at least the tiredness and a nasty, dry cough.  I’m hoping I don’t copycat him this time around, the flu was ridiculously debilitating and led to flopping about exerting no energy and eating toast and marmite.  Not a way to get to that 3 stone goal.

Le grand return

So, here I am back from a fortnight's holiday which included a week in sunny Cape Verde.  And I feel awful.  Holiday is clearly not good for me..... Reader, I caught a flu bug on the plane (P is also struck down) and it really was flu, not a bad cold.  Every inch of my skin is super-sensitive, I ache everywhere and have no energy.  Now I'b getting the coldy bit too.  Sniffle.  So I'm not at work - something that looks highly dubious after leave - and feeling very guilty.  Possibly only fractionally less guilty than I'd feel if someone caught this bug.  It's clearly very easy to catch as I got it from P and I think this is only the 2nd time in 20 years that we've caught something from the other (for the inquiring reader, the other time was Norovirus.  Ah yes, what a Christmas that was...)

Still.  A shot of summer in dreary winter comes highly recommended - and we seem to have come back to spring so I'm hoping that my winter blues have been sent well and truly packing.  The sea out there looked like I'd taken an amazing photo - and then put an utterly unrealistic filter on it.  But it really WAS that beautiful.  Obviously I only paddled because, dear Reader, I did not take a swimsuit. Yes to that sharp inhalation of breath.  I started trying them on, my anxiety and self-loathing rocketed and I decided to just shove them back in the drawer.  It's not ideal but it was the most sensible way - for me - to deal with the whole issue.

I haven't weighed yet.  I ate very well in CV - not a lesson in restraint but rather that the food was not great.  It was okay but not great.  Not a single pudding passed my lips.  But then, a lot of pina coladas did I'm afraid.  And since the great flu woe (AND I had the flu jab this year, grrr), I have eaten mainly bread and chocolate.  Not together.  Clearly toast should only ever have marmite on.  But that's a whole other culinary story.  My jeans still fit and I can get my engagement ring off but I fear that there's no way I can escape extra lard.  So, as soon as I can shed this lurgy, I need to clamber back on that wagon and knuckle down again.  I still have quite a lot of Jane Plan packs so will use those up and then consider.  I reckon I can duplicate her plan with more palatable food - it's just the discipline of keeping rigidly to that and not letting extras creep in.  Ha, you can spot the tricksiness in this plan, can't you?

Back to CV - would I recommend it?  Yes, with some small print: the weather, sea and beaches are spectacular.  The food isn't great (excepting breakfasts, weirdly, as normally I don't like breakfast).  There is NOTHING to see and do apart from walking on the beach, swimming and sunning.  It's all big all-inclusive package breaks,  so the flight is horrendous (thanks Thomson) and there are plenty of Brits letting the side down - you know, the sort that moan that the tea and bacon in their daily fry up is `not like home` (yeah, well nor is the weather mate), who see the all-inclusive as a challenge to eat ridiculous quantities of food, all the time (god knows what the locals think - who generally have very little), all with chips, and who are generally a bit yobby.  I think we were pretty much the only people who made the effort to learn a bit of Creole to chat to the extremely nice staff - and the only ones without huge tattoos.  Admittedly I am a bit biased against tattoos and I suspect that is is entirely possible to have something artistic and tasteful.  These were not those tattoos.  Think huge EDL style knights carrying St George's flag or the sort that look like they were done by an amateur whilst in prison.   Or both.  We also saw people starting on the lager at breakfast and those who got so drunk they were falling over - yelling profanities.  Anyway, you should all definitely go there to redress the Brit balance.  Just be warned that the bacon and baked beans are not 'proper'.  Apparently.