Wanted: one wagon upgrade

Usually when there is radio silence on a dieting blog, you know it's because the dieter has fallen off the wagon into a vat of chocolate or (insert naughtiness of choice).  Not me.  Not on this occasion anyway.  Sadly SoD (Scales of Doom) does not seem to comprehend this.  

Two weeks ago I put on 1/2 lb and was trying to keep my cool - and then last week.  Well SoD was causing me much angst by saying I'd either put on 1/2 lb or up to 1.5lbs.  Reader, I couldn't bear to enter it in my SW weight loss thingy.  Cowardice?  Certainly.  We'd had a night out (a 6 course lobster and scallop themed evening with the most delicious raspberry souffle for pudding and mini doughnuts with coffee as well as the other four or five pescatarian mini courses) but I'd been pretty strict to try and accommodate this.  What I don't get is that the rules are supposed to allow for some deviation - ie you're allowed a certain level of lassitude in the shape of "syns" -  (that's deviation, not deviance) and still produce a loss.  This doesn't necessarily seem to work for me.  I cannot see a patten in my losses and this erodes my confidence in me, the diet and the fact that I might ever be less than a blob.

More of that pattern later.

I had a dull old week socially but still had no real confidence that this week's WI would come up with any result.  But I lost 3 1/2 lbs.  I am cautiously very pleased but I am also perplexed and would really like to understand what the actual f*ck is going on.  I have weeks where I lose very little, the odd week where I have a gain - and then, randomly the very rare week when I lose a chunk.  Is it stating the obvious, Reader, to say I'd like more of the de-chunking weeks?

Which brings me to the pattern.  Or rather the embodiment of chaos theory that is my pattern:

Wk 1:  -5 lbs

Wk 2: -1 ½ lbs

Wk 3: -1 lb

Wk 4: -3 ½ lbs

Wk 5: - ½ lb

Wk 6: -4 lbs

Wk 7 : +1 ½ lbs

Wk 8: - ½ lb

Wk 9: -1 lb

Wk 10: -1lb

Wk 11: -1lb

Wk 12: -1lb

Wk 13: STS

Wk 14: +½ lb

Wk 15: we're pretending this never happened (but + ½ - 1½ lbs)

Wk 16: -3 ½ lbs (from week 14)

Yes, I've been on SW for 4 months now.  I've lost 1½ st and an extra ½ lb.  No-one could say I was speeding along.  I think, pending some sort of miraculous acceleration, I will not make my target for my holiday.   And that's not target weight - that's unimaginably far off, I just mean the target I wanted to achieve before holiday.   It's 10 weeks to go - and one of those weeks includes my birthday.  I would say that 10lbs is veering from realistic to optimistic - the 14lbs is an impossibility.  Of course, squelching the idiotic little voice that continues to hope is more difficult.

Then of course I will put on whilst on holiday so the next target will be to lose that.  Then it'll be stone increments - both actual stones and stones off - until I get to the point when I feel like I shouldn't carry a placard, apologising to the population at large about my appearance, which is 3 stone away.  Then on to 'target'.  This could take years.   If at all.

Someone I follow on social media - not because of the dieting thing - has lost 2 ½ st in 10 weeks.  She has less to lose than me.  I am very pleased for her but I would be a liar if I said I was not envious.

I need a nippier, more streamlined wagon.  Go faster stripes would be nice.

Fatloss forecast:

Well, I have a big fat zero in my social diary for this week.  We're dogsitting my mother's geriatric Labrador so evenings out are, well, out.  This ought to lead to a decent loss next week but who knows?  Not me.