Adding up

Hello

Still here.  Still plugging away.  Still a bit confused with what I’m doing.  Essentially doing a calorie counted diet of 1000 calories a day.  Which is not entirely what I signed up for but I guess things will change when I have my first ‘fill’.  I’ll get advice there - as well as a band restriction - so I think it will be useful even if I don’t notice the restriction.  Apparently it can take quite a long time to hit upon what is called the ‘sweet spot’.  This means a point at which you have sufficient restriction to not feel hungry between meals and to be satisfied with a small portion.  Ironically, the only change I’ve noticed thus far, is that it’s hard to get some of my medication down – even cutting the pills in half (or, with one, in quarters).

Mostly, 1000 calories a day is fine.  What tends to cause problems is trying to combine that with any kind of social life – as every dieter ever knows.  Tomorrow we’re going to Wagamama for lunch – I’ve found the lowest calorie things, and I know what I’m having for dinner (chicken tikka masala in the slow cooker – never made it before) so I know what I have left in terms of calorie balance.  And it means no breakfast.  Which I’m sure will be fine.  Difficult but fine.  And at least I know.  

But Tuesday I’m meeting one of my best friends and we’re going to Wahaca.  Their lowest calorie thing is c550 calories – so that’s more than half of my total day’s calories.  And Wednesday I’m seeing a friend who is always keen on drinking.  I’ve suggested a picnic as I can at least control what I eat – and will probably try to have one of those little cans of G&T and hope she doesn’t notice how little I am eating/drinking.  But that one is incalculable in calorie terms.

Now, my social occasions don’t usually pile up like this – last time I met up with a friend was weeks ago (and certainly before the op).  But not being able to be in control and possibly (probably) exceeding my calories makes me feel very anxious.  And I know that being too black and white about it has led to problems before – a kind of ‘oh blow it’ mentality because I’ve ‘spoilt’ it, blotted my copy book - and it’s hard for me to get back to the discipline again.  I guess Wednesday will have to be an attempt to not go mad – and then not go mad when I see the Scales of Doom as a result.  And then pick up straight back on to the straight and narrow.  It’s not as if I can be a hermit – it’s nice to see people and not to see friends because of a diet seems ridiculously self-centred.  In a roundabout way, I’m saying that I need to learn to deal with the odd social engagement.

Anyway, the numbers.  You’ll remember I was essentially STS last week?  Well, I did a  whoosh and lost 3.5lbs this last week (Wednesday to Wednesday).  I guess that may be how it’s going to go for me.  Because since then, I’ve just stuck. SoD taunts me – it briefly flickers, registering a couple of lbs lower, and then settles back up.  It hates me.  I am sure it’s saying ‘take that, fatty’.  We’re in an abusive relationship and I can’t break it off.

Have good weekends everyone.