It's hard to believe that summer is about to come to a screeching halt. Or at least this lovely sunny weather that I've witnessed (obliquely) through the grimy window is about to stop now that I can actually get out in it. This is not funny. The temperature is predicted to plummet by 14o between today in London and tomorrow in Suffolk. So I'll be wrapping up warm for our 9 mile hike planned for tomorrow (not if it rains) and Lesley will have to put on her opaques and boots next week as we return to winter.
Apparently the cold will help me burn adipose fat so there's always a silver lining! Looking at the weather report, the next WI will be a triumph (of woman over SoD).
Friday, 30 March 2012
Thursday, 29 March 2012
Walk the line
I am taking the specialist and Gabby’s advice and upping my exercise by walking in – I managed twice in the last WI week (and twice the week before that) and this week should be 4 – and a hike this weekend, weather permitting. I’ve also changed my breakfast habits (again) so that I’m walking before I eat (on the way to work – not when we do an all day hike!), hoping that this means my body will be forced to burn fat. Of which it has an abundance.
Not noticing much difference so far (apart from achy ankles) – I had put ON 1lb and ¼ on WI day yesterday. I could put this down to it coming up to TOTM, or that I ate a homemade raspberry muffin on Tuesday (day before WI – and apparently having had no carbs, having some will mean me putting on glycogen/water weight) - but it’s all too easy to make up excuses as to why it will be different next week. Somehow it never is. Since Christmas I have lost 2 ¾ lbs of the 8 ¼ that I put on. It’s actually literally insignificant – almost like nothing at all. I am a stone over where I thought I could realistically be at this point (you know, if I were normal). I am gritting my teeth and carrying on and trying not to get too freaked out. Even if, with appointments at (apparently sympathetic) wedding shops booked, I rather want to hypoventilate when I think of it but am resolutely remaining calm and focussed. And maybe a little fatalistic.
P has generously bought us bikes to have up in Suffolk – hybrids with fatter tyres capable of dealing with forest/sandy tracks. He thinks this will help with the weight loss. I don’t but I do think it will be fun. All the diet stuff I’ve been reading/listening to suggests that the body is very clever; if you cut back too much or expend a lot more energy, you just force your body to conserve – mainly by not then, say, building bone density or fighting infection. I guess if I have a bit more food – protein and fat – when I cycle, it might work. And it should tone my baggy arse anyway. And I refer you to the bit where I said ‘fun’.
It’s made me consider cycling attire. When I cycle to work, I wear leggings, a short jersey skirt (to conceal thighs) and a t-shirt – and a cycling jacket usually. It’s not a nice skirt (it was a BHS job to wear over a swimming cozzie) – I really want some proper skater skirts that I could wear off the bike, in a pub for instance, without looking dreadful. Currently I actually look like a ragbag. The outfit has potential in theory, but in execution misses something. Mostly style. So I’m looking for proper skater skirts – shortish, full, and jersey – sounds easy; isn’t. And my leggings are sports leggings – perhaps normal ones would look better? I have bought a new t-shirt though. See, my usual t-shirts are not suitable for cycling. I don’t have a racer bike but I am still essentially leaning forward over the handlebars – and I’ve seen women coming towards me, looking like they’re about to pop out of their scoop necks and it’s not a good look. I do not want to/need to know the colour of your nipples, ta lady. So I need a higher neck than would really suit me when I’m upright. It’s a sartorial minefield – all advice gratefully received.
I’m also tweaking my diet to see if I can get better results. I’m essentially dropping dairy – or for at least the majority of the time – with the exception of yoghurt and some in cooking occasionally. I will miss cream in my coffee which I probably had – and really enjoyed - twice a day and the odd bit of cheese. Instead I get to have a few nuts which is pleasant (focussing on the positive). I’ll have to see whether this makes a difference.
I think if this doesn’t work I’ll have to cut the nuts and cut the dairy but it doesn’t look as if that should be necessary. You know me though, always ready to buck a trend.
Not noticing much difference so far (apart from achy ankles) – I had put ON 1lb and ¼ on WI day yesterday. I could put this down to it coming up to TOTM, or that I ate a homemade raspberry muffin on Tuesday (day before WI – and apparently having had no carbs, having some will mean me putting on glycogen/water weight) - but it’s all too easy to make up excuses as to why it will be different next week. Somehow it never is. Since Christmas I have lost 2 ¾ lbs of the 8 ¼ that I put on. It’s actually literally insignificant – almost like nothing at all. I am a stone over where I thought I could realistically be at this point (you know, if I were normal). I am gritting my teeth and carrying on and trying not to get too freaked out. Even if, with appointments at (apparently sympathetic) wedding shops booked, I rather want to hypoventilate when I think of it but am resolutely remaining calm and focussed. And maybe a little fatalistic.
P has generously bought us bikes to have up in Suffolk – hybrids with fatter tyres capable of dealing with forest/sandy tracks. He thinks this will help with the weight loss. I don’t but I do think it will be fun. All the diet stuff I’ve been reading/listening to suggests that the body is very clever; if you cut back too much or expend a lot more energy, you just force your body to conserve – mainly by not then, say, building bone density or fighting infection. I guess if I have a bit more food – protein and fat – when I cycle, it might work. And it should tone my baggy arse anyway. And I refer you to the bit where I said ‘fun’.
It’s made me consider cycling attire. When I cycle to work, I wear leggings, a short jersey skirt (to conceal thighs) and a t-shirt – and a cycling jacket usually. It’s not a nice skirt (it was a BHS job to wear over a swimming cozzie) – I really want some proper skater skirts that I could wear off the bike, in a pub for instance, without looking dreadful. Currently I actually look like a ragbag. The outfit has potential in theory, but in execution misses something. Mostly style. So I’m looking for proper skater skirts – shortish, full, and jersey – sounds easy; isn’t. And my leggings are sports leggings – perhaps normal ones would look better? I have bought a new t-shirt though. See, my usual t-shirts are not suitable for cycling. I don’t have a racer bike but I am still essentially leaning forward over the handlebars – and I’ve seen women coming towards me, looking like they’re about to pop out of their scoop necks and it’s not a good look. I do not want to/need to know the colour of your nipples, ta lady. So I need a higher neck than would really suit me when I’m upright. It’s a sartorial minefield – all advice gratefully received.
I’m also tweaking my diet to see if I can get better results. I’m essentially dropping dairy – or for at least the majority of the time – with the exception of yoghurt and some in cooking occasionally. I will miss cream in my coffee which I probably had – and really enjoyed - twice a day and the odd bit of cheese. Instead I get to have a few nuts which is pleasant (focussing on the positive). I’ll have to see whether this makes a difference.
I think if this doesn’t work I’ll have to cut the nuts and cut the dairy but it doesn’t look as if that should be necessary. You know me though, always ready to buck a trend.
Monday, 26 March 2012
Heavy metal
I got a bit carried away by the sunshine and felt an overpowering urge to varnish my toenails. Now, I don’t expect to be out of opaques and boots for some time yet but just on the offchance, I felt I must paint my nails. I imagine it’s similar to the same compulsion felt by birds to build a nest. I varnish my fingers mostly nude for the week (low maintenance) or dark red – with occasional forays into navy – in the winter and coral in the summer. But I always feel I can be a bit more outré on my toes. So I have on a shimmery dark teal – the sort of colour you imagine a mermaid’s rail would be. I bought it for my fingers but realised I looked as if I thought I was still 13. On my toes however it looks....faintly subversive. And I rather like that.
But the iridescent quality must be achieved with lead filings or something as, after a virtuous weekend, I had put on 1 ½ lbs this morning. This does not make for a cheery start to the week. Aren't Mondays hard enough without this sort of mindf*ckery? SoD had better sort out its act by Wednesday or no amount of sunshine will be able to lift my mood.
But the iridescent quality must be achieved with lead filings or something as, after a virtuous weekend, I had put on 1 ½ lbs this morning. This does not make for a cheery start to the week. Aren't Mondays hard enough without this sort of mindf*ckery? SoD had better sort out its act by Wednesday or no amount of sunshine will be able to lift my mood.
Friday, 23 March 2012
Let's face the music and dance
I went to see Singing in the Rain last night. I’m a sucker for an old musical and I still have a sneaking disappointment that in real life people don’t suddenly burst in to song and dance routines. The main male lead was amazing and ‘the number’ made the (very expensive) ticket price worthwhile all on its own.
But it meant I only just got to bed by midnight. Still, I hauled myself up in time to do most of a walk in – I’ve now done the best part of a brisk 3 mile walk 3 times this week so I’m hoping that SoD will acknowledge this on Wednesday.
This week was not as bad as it might have been I guess – ¾lb off. Which, when measured against the shock apparent 2lbs on on Monday, looks less of a disappointment. I’ve been ticked off on the Harcombe diet forum for eating dark chocolate (daily) and having a glass or 2 of red wine (weekly) – it’s weird because I’ve been listening to the Harcombe diet podcasts on my walk in (in itself a feat as my ipod has a stupid touch screen that doesn’t respond) and Ms Harcombe herself doesn’t appear to be as much of a zealot as some of the people on the forum. It almost made me throw in the towel in in the week but I think I’ll just stop using the forum. It was a real disappointment though as I’d been feeling pretty good at how well I’d been sticking to the diet – and the remarks of a couple of people on there made my motivation just drain away (like fake rain on a West End stage...!)
This weekend looks pretty innocuous – I have a dress rehearsal and choir performance on Saturday and I’m working on Sunday. It’s sad that we can’t go to Suffolk and enjoy the glorious weather though. I’ve just got some books of cycle routes for up there; none of them are great because they cover such a huge area (nothing Suffolk specific), but it’s still exciting to think about routes for when we get our bikes.
But it meant I only just got to bed by midnight. Still, I hauled myself up in time to do most of a walk in – I’ve now done the best part of a brisk 3 mile walk 3 times this week so I’m hoping that SoD will acknowledge this on Wednesday.
This week was not as bad as it might have been I guess – ¾lb off. Which, when measured against the shock apparent 2lbs on on Monday, looks less of a disappointment. I’ve been ticked off on the Harcombe diet forum for eating dark chocolate (daily) and having a glass or 2 of red wine (weekly) – it’s weird because I’ve been listening to the Harcombe diet podcasts on my walk in (in itself a feat as my ipod has a stupid touch screen that doesn’t respond) and Ms Harcombe herself doesn’t appear to be as much of a zealot as some of the people on the forum. It almost made me throw in the towel in in the week but I think I’ll just stop using the forum. It was a real disappointment though as I’d been feeling pretty good at how well I’d been sticking to the diet – and the remarks of a couple of people on there made my motivation just drain away (like fake rain on a West End stage...!)
This weekend looks pretty innocuous – I have a dress rehearsal and choir performance on Saturday and I’m working on Sunday. It’s sad that we can’t go to Suffolk and enjoy the glorious weather though. I’ve just got some books of cycle routes for up there; none of them are great because they cover such a huge area (nothing Suffolk specific), but it’s still exciting to think about routes for when we get our bikes.
Monday, 19 March 2012
Thwarted
It was a blameless weekend- but SoD says I put on 2lbs... Now, either 1) it gave me a pity-reading on Wednesday and Friday (the same) or 2) my pretty exemplary eating somehow didn’t work out so well for me or (and this is the one I’m pinning my hopes on) 3) it was a mean, false reading. On a Monday morning – how horrid is that? Well, less horrid than it being option 2. Or 1, come to that. But we are NOT amused.
Having had a few lovely Spring days in London, of course when we got to Suffolk it poured with rain for the duration. So the 9.5 mile walk was well and truly out (wait: maybe SoD was taking that into account and then had to revise upwards...) so we did some shopping including a long and technical debate with an odd and geeky gremlin man in a bike shop over the merits of mountain bikes over hybrids. He’d clearly not left the bike shop for at least 50 years – it was like stepping back in time. But he knew his bikes and we’ll be back.
And the fresh air – sea air combined with post (or mostly during) rain air chased my headache away. It came back as we crossed the boundary with the M25 – maybe I’m allergic to London?!
Then I couldn’t get any egg white in the supermarket so the tweaking of my omelette has yet to commence.
BUT I did walk part of the way to work today – it’s a tad under 3 miles. Not impressive but hopefully, done at a brisk trot (for stumpy legs anyway – obv everyone was passing me!), is enough to get some lard shifting without pushing my hyper-hysterical body into concluding it’s another famine and it had better lay down fat quick. Note to body: I think we're stocked enough now to outlast a really l-o-n-g famine, stop with the stockpiling.
Tomorrow will be more of a challenge as I have to wash my hair so walking in means an unpleasantly early alarm call. I need to think of my official encounter with SoD on Wednesday and how I really need that reading to have gone down. From last week I mean, I’m not including today’s expletive.
Having had a few lovely Spring days in London, of course when we got to Suffolk it poured with rain for the duration. So the 9.5 mile walk was well and truly out (wait: maybe SoD was taking that into account and then had to revise upwards...) so we did some shopping including a long and technical debate with an odd and geeky gremlin man in a bike shop over the merits of mountain bikes over hybrids. He’d clearly not left the bike shop for at least 50 years – it was like stepping back in time. But he knew his bikes and we’ll be back.
And the fresh air – sea air combined with post (or mostly during) rain air chased my headache away. It came back as we crossed the boundary with the M25 – maybe I’m allergic to London?!
Then I couldn’t get any egg white in the supermarket so the tweaking of my omelette has yet to commence.
BUT I did walk part of the way to work today – it’s a tad under 3 miles. Not impressive but hopefully, done at a brisk trot (for stumpy legs anyway – obv everyone was passing me!), is enough to get some lard shifting without pushing my hyper-hysterical body into concluding it’s another famine and it had better lay down fat quick. Note to body: I think we're stocked enough now to outlast a really l-o-n-g famine, stop with the stockpiling.
Tomorrow will be more of a challenge as I have to wash my hair so walking in means an unpleasantly early alarm call. I need to think of my official encounter with SoD on Wednesday and how I really need that reading to have gone down. From last week I mean, I’m not including today’s expletive.
Friday, 16 March 2012
Doughgirl
I woke up today with a migraine. I am resolutely trying to look on the bright side – I’ve not had one for a while – but my head just hurts. I didn’t want any breakfast but I really, really wanted a plain bread roll or pretzel for lunch – there’s just no low-carb equivalent, is there? I had a salad; it did not hit the spot. And I’ve now had a bad headache for 11 hours – although the mental confusion has at least subsided. Or as much as it ever does anyway!
The opposite of the silver lining is that if my latest prescription drugs didn’t work, the next step was an injectible version, gulp. I’m a bit wussy about needles...
We’re back in Suffolk this weekend for the first weekend of the season; I’m hoping the fresh sea air will help get rid of the headache. I’m also hoping that the rain holds off for long enough to allow us to get in the 9 ½ mile walk we fancy on Saturday. Maybe that will persuade SoD to grant me a bit of a whoosh for Wednesday – even a whooshette would be very acceptable. Especially having resisted bread today under severe provocation.
And how unfair is it that yesterday was a beautiful day and Monday and Tuesday are forecast to be beautiful and yet the weekend will apparently be grey and rainy? There seriously ought to be a law against that.
Next week I will be incorporating a 45 minute walk into my morning commute (argh) and may well be trialling mostly egg-white omelette too – thanks for the suggestions ladies.
The opposite of the silver lining is that if my latest prescription drugs didn’t work, the next step was an injectible version, gulp. I’m a bit wussy about needles...
We’re back in Suffolk this weekend for the first weekend of the season; I’m hoping the fresh sea air will help get rid of the headache. I’m also hoping that the rain holds off for long enough to allow us to get in the 9 ½ mile walk we fancy on Saturday. Maybe that will persuade SoD to grant me a bit of a whoosh for Wednesday – even a whooshette would be very acceptable. Especially having resisted bread today under severe provocation.
And how unfair is it that yesterday was a beautiful day and Monday and Tuesday are forecast to be beautiful and yet the weekend will apparently be grey and rainy? There seriously ought to be a law against that.
Next week I will be incorporating a 45 minute walk into my morning commute (argh) and may well be trialling mostly egg-white omelette too – thanks for the suggestions ladies.
Wednesday, 14 March 2012
A matter of fat
Not a good morning. I went to see my metabolic specialist today. I didn’t in fact get to see him but a colleague of his. She was very nice and clearly does not subscribe to low-carbing at all. She told me that I was having too many calories in the form of fat in my diet – she particularly objected to my breakfast (a 3 egg omelette with cheddar and sunblush tomatoes). I’m now all in a quandary – I tend to think that if you try and follow all the diet rules for each diet simultaneously it all just becomes a) confusing and b) ineffective. But of course, I’ve only lost 3lbs this year so I find it hard to resist any glimmers of hope. Not that I allow hope to enter my dieting world any more – it’s just too hard when they wink out.
Of course, this diet is high fat and low carb – intentionally so. And I feel much healthier on it – no more sugar crashes, shaky/sweaty hunger induced incidents or frequent and intense hunger. But... but... but. She suggested I have porridge for breakfast instead. The problem with that is that I tried it and was starving by mid –morning – AND I really need some kind of sweetener on it (honey or splenda or (gasp) sugar) and that just causes the sugar-monster to roar back into life. She reckons that even if I had to have a snack mid-morning to compensate for the hunger, it’s better than my omelette.
Or she said to exercise more. Which makes me hungrier, which... It’s a vicious cycle. She then said low level exercise like a walk every day – I’ll try it but I can’t really see it’s going to make a difference when running 3 times a week didn’t.
I’m considering what I can change my breakfast to that is still low-carb but cheese-less (she was horrified by the eggs but I suspect the cheese is higher fat). And I’ll change my post-soup yoghurt to fat free rather than full fat. I struggle with breakfasts so I’m not sure what to do.
The worst thing was that despite me being quite matter of fact and breezy, she seemed to realise that I found the weight loss (or lack of) quite tough and I ended up in tears. And there was a student there whose eyes got bigger and bigger as I tried to conceal my weeping and turn off the waterworks. The doctor suggested CBT but (as I told her) there’s no psychological technique that is going to make me feel better about being fat. I also think it’s better to keep these things safely bottled up wherever possible – my bottle being a veritable pandora’s box.
I lost 1lb this week. Not bad given the morsel of cake and how harshly I am usually treated for any aberration. If only it could be a steady 1lb (or, greedily and ideally, more) a week I could deal with all this, but this takes my total pounds lost this year to 3lbs, I’m still 5lbs heavier than before Christmas and a stone heavier than my lightest (but still porky) weight. Who can blame me for a bit of humiliating blubbing? Well, apart from me.
Of course, this diet is high fat and low carb – intentionally so. And I feel much healthier on it – no more sugar crashes, shaky/sweaty hunger induced incidents or frequent and intense hunger. But... but... but. She suggested I have porridge for breakfast instead. The problem with that is that I tried it and was starving by mid –morning – AND I really need some kind of sweetener on it (honey or splenda or (gasp) sugar) and that just causes the sugar-monster to roar back into life. She reckons that even if I had to have a snack mid-morning to compensate for the hunger, it’s better than my omelette.
Or she said to exercise more. Which makes me hungrier, which... It’s a vicious cycle. She then said low level exercise like a walk every day – I’ll try it but I can’t really see it’s going to make a difference when running 3 times a week didn’t.
I’m considering what I can change my breakfast to that is still low-carb but cheese-less (she was horrified by the eggs but I suspect the cheese is higher fat). And I’ll change my post-soup yoghurt to fat free rather than full fat. I struggle with breakfasts so I’m not sure what to do.
The worst thing was that despite me being quite matter of fact and breezy, she seemed to realise that I found the weight loss (or lack of) quite tough and I ended up in tears. And there was a student there whose eyes got bigger and bigger as I tried to conceal my weeping and turn off the waterworks. The doctor suggested CBT but (as I told her) there’s no psychological technique that is going to make me feel better about being fat. I also think it’s better to keep these things safely bottled up wherever possible – my bottle being a veritable pandora’s box.
I lost 1lb this week. Not bad given the morsel of cake and how harshly I am usually treated for any aberration. If only it could be a steady 1lb (or, greedily and ideally, more) a week I could deal with all this, but this takes my total pounds lost this year to 3lbs, I’m still 5lbs heavier than before Christmas and a stone heavier than my lightest (but still porky) weight. Who can blame me for a bit of humiliating blubbing? Well, apart from me.
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