I’m feeling a tad drab. Worse, I’m feeling like a second rate ginger. Look at this:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2036702/Ginger-nuts-Marianne-suffered-low-self-esteem-auburn-hair-met-100s-others.html
I saw this reflected on about a dozen televisions around John Lewis at the weekend in glorious technicolour (or at least mostly shades of orange). I slunk off feeling inadequate.
Thursday, 15 September 2011
Wednesday, 14 September 2011
The Pudding Club
Well there was no pie. As such. But bf’s mother had bought two puddings – a tarte au citron and a trifle. Although I love lemon, neither of these would be things I’d choose on a menu. As it is, I had the tarte and it was so disappointing (WHY if something is supposed to be lemon, does it not taste of lemons? Making it a yellow colour is not enough in my book) that I decided to console myself with some trifle – which was even worse. The only thing that was nice was the rather excessive amount of jersey extra thick cream I had (again, neither of these puddings required cream, I know this). Then I had some jelly babies and a couple of chocolates.
So it was no real surprise that I didn’t lose any weight this week. I was perfect 60% of the time (rough estimate) but I need to be perfect 100% of the time in order to shift any poundage, sadly. So, this week gives me a shiny new chance to do that.
Bf has decided he doesn’t want me to make my meatball lasagne as it will be “too big” – even though I offered to make a mini version. In fact he is resisting all “fuss” for his birthday. Things he has recoiled in horror from:
1) Going out for supper
2) Me making supper, inc pudding (had secret plans for tiramisu which he loves)
3) Me making a cake
4) Me making a cake and bringing it to his office with fizz for him and his colleagues
5) Me making him a picnic lunch extraordinaire and bringing it to his office/nearby park
(NB I secretly saw myself in a 50s dress and cute heels with a wicker basket for options 4 and 5. Which would have been a problem since I don’t actually own a 50s dress. Or any heels I don’t limp in. Which severely reduces the sass factor I was fondly imagining)
Admittedly, 1) is kind of redundant since we’re going out for dinner in Suffolk on 23rd, but he is very resistant to me spoiling him and I love to have an excuse to do so. He’s now agreed to go to the cinema that night (obv, I have plans for that to be a bit more special than vats of popcorn and pop), so I’ll need a few booze credits for that at least, but other than this, this week is looking as if I should be able to cover myself in glory. Assuming there’s not only enough glory to cover a size 10. In which case there may be trouble and metaphorical unattractive and distinctly unglorious nudity ahead.
So it was no real surprise that I didn’t lose any weight this week. I was perfect 60% of the time (rough estimate) but I need to be perfect 100% of the time in order to shift any poundage, sadly. So, this week gives me a shiny new chance to do that.
Bf has decided he doesn’t want me to make my meatball lasagne as it will be “too big” – even though I offered to make a mini version. In fact he is resisting all “fuss” for his birthday. Things he has recoiled in horror from:
1) Going out for supper
2) Me making supper, inc pudding (had secret plans for tiramisu which he loves)
3) Me making a cake
4) Me making a cake and bringing it to his office with fizz for him and his colleagues
5) Me making him a picnic lunch extraordinaire and bringing it to his office/nearby park
(NB I secretly saw myself in a 50s dress and cute heels with a wicker basket for options 4 and 5. Which would have been a problem since I don’t actually own a 50s dress. Or any heels I don’t limp in. Which severely reduces the sass factor I was fondly imagining)
Admittedly, 1) is kind of redundant since we’re going out for dinner in Suffolk on 23rd, but he is very resistant to me spoiling him and I love to have an excuse to do so. He’s now agreed to go to the cinema that night (obv, I have plans for that to be a bit more special than vats of popcorn and pop), so I’ll need a few booze credits for that at least, but other than this, this week is looking as if I should be able to cover myself in glory. Assuming there’s not only enough glory to cover a size 10. In which case there may be trouble and metaphorical unattractive and distinctly unglorious nudity ahead.
Monday, 12 September 2011
Bob and peeve
So, I’m thinking of having my shoulder-blade length hair cut into an angled bob. It’s a bit scary – I’m not good with change. The thing is that my hair is so fine – I love long hair but I think if it’s as fine as mine, it just doesn’t look good long. Plus I saw this:
http://www.rockmywedding.co.uk/chic-in-the-cotswolds-part-1/
And I just thought she looked amazing. Okay, a simple haircut isn’t going to turn me into this elegant creature (more’s the pity) but it got me thinking about my hair. I have no intention of having it up – bf doesn’t like my hair tied back and to be honest, it’s too fine to have anything elaborate without hair pieces and the like which I just don’t like the idea of. I last had it bobbed about 4 years ago pre LighterLife and started growing it out after that. So last time I had shorter hair I was 3 stone heavier. At the time I worried that I looked:
a) Butch; and/or
b) Mumsy and middle aged
I think I’m less likely to look butch being slimmer (if not, alas, slim) but the mumsy fear is still there. On the flip side I have an OBSESSION with hats - which look much better with a bob than pretty much any other haircut. Will I be brave enough? It's now or never as if I had it done now, I would at least have time to grow it again for the wedding - I think. Watch this space, dear Reader.
If you don’t hear from me for a while, I’ve been arrested. I have borrowed a marker pen from work and tonight I am going to have to alter the signs at a new bridge they’re building where I live because they’re driving me CRAZY. There are at least 4 official signs (not someone’s hastily written note) and they’re all variations on this:
“Hard hats only passed this point”
Argghhhhh.
http://www.rockmywedding.co.uk/chic-in-the-cotswolds-part-1/
And I just thought she looked amazing. Okay, a simple haircut isn’t going to turn me into this elegant creature (more’s the pity) but it got me thinking about my hair. I have no intention of having it up – bf doesn’t like my hair tied back and to be honest, it’s too fine to have anything elaborate without hair pieces and the like which I just don’t like the idea of. I last had it bobbed about 4 years ago pre LighterLife and started growing it out after that. So last time I had shorter hair I was 3 stone heavier. At the time I worried that I looked:
a) Butch; and/or
b) Mumsy and middle aged
I think I’m less likely to look butch being slimmer (if not, alas, slim) but the mumsy fear is still there. On the flip side I have an OBSESSION with hats - which look much better with a bob than pretty much any other haircut. Will I be brave enough? It's now or never as if I had it done now, I would at least have time to grow it again for the wedding - I think. Watch this space, dear Reader.
If you don’t hear from me for a while, I’ve been arrested. I have borrowed a marker pen from work and tonight I am going to have to alter the signs at a new bridge they’re building where I live because they’re driving me CRAZY. There are at least 4 official signs (not someone’s hastily written note) and they’re all variations on this:
“Hard hats only passed this point”
Argghhhhh.
Friday, 9 September 2011
Rules of engagement
When I got engaged over a year ago, after I’d got over the shock, I thought that this would finally be the secret treasure map leading me to the World of Slim Girls. My plan was this: get slim by November 2011, maintain that weight for a year (allowing for a minor festive blip).
So, how’s that going? Well, it’s going pants. There is NO WAY I will be slim – or even discernibly slimmer damnit – by November. Even without a trip to the Land of the Free (Cookie) coming up, my efforts have been too woeful to allow this. Actually, that’s not strictly true, my efforts have in the main been pretty laudable but the results have been absurdly inadequate. My net loss on 5 months of SW is (drumroll).....2lbs off.
Something has to change but I’m not sure what or how. I don’t know at what point I give up on SW and try something different, although what I’m not sure. I don’t think it will be this year though. I can lose on this diet – as long as nothing derails me, I can lose 2-3lbs a month of intense steady, serious dieting. I just don’t know if that is ever going to be enough. Bf looked at me reading the SW mag the other night “With all the diet magazines you’ve read, you’d think you’d be slim now” he said breezily. If ONLY it were that easy.
Talking of hurdles, we’re going to bf’s parents for Sunday lunch. Now, this isn’t too much of a SW problem except for pudding (I won’t be drinking – as ever). I fear apple pie. I fear it because I know it’s going to be heinous in terms of syns and because I actually don’t like pie so will resent the calories. I can hardly say after 16 years, I don’t like pie! Still, I’ll profess myself stuffed and have a sliver (and leave the crust).
Next week’s topics – wedding invite lists and radical hair thoughts.
So, how’s that going? Well, it’s going pants. There is NO WAY I will be slim – or even discernibly slimmer damnit – by November. Even without a trip to the Land of the Free (Cookie) coming up, my efforts have been too woeful to allow this. Actually, that’s not strictly true, my efforts have in the main been pretty laudable but the results have been absurdly inadequate. My net loss on 5 months of SW is (drumroll).....2lbs off.
Something has to change but I’m not sure what or how. I don’t know at what point I give up on SW and try something different, although what I’m not sure. I don’t think it will be this year though. I can lose on this diet – as long as nothing derails me, I can lose 2-3lbs a month of intense steady, serious dieting. I just don’t know if that is ever going to be enough. Bf looked at me reading the SW mag the other night “With all the diet magazines you’ve read, you’d think you’d be slim now” he said breezily. If ONLY it were that easy.
Talking of hurdles, we’re going to bf’s parents for Sunday lunch. Now, this isn’t too much of a SW problem except for pudding (I won’t be drinking – as ever). I fear apple pie. I fear it because I know it’s going to be heinous in terms of syns and because I actually don’t like pie so will resent the calories. I can hardly say after 16 years, I don’t like pie! Still, I’ll profess myself stuffed and have a sliver (and leave the crust).
Next week’s topics – wedding invite lists and radical hair thoughts.
Monday, 5 September 2011
Rolling, rolling, rolling
Sooo, I'm back. Back on the wagon, back on the blog, back to school. Metaphorically speaking. Back the other side of 40 and after too long a hedonistic time off.
I give myself a B for effort - I tried hard, I had some successes but I ate more than I would have ideally allowed myself. And it's hard to get back on to the diet; I'm back properly on it today but my traitorous alter ego keeps whispering suggestions for naughtiness in my ear and persuading me that I may as well wait until Wednesday (WI day) to get back to it. No, no, NO.
I braved SoD on Friday and today - on Thursday I was Porky.11 (up a terrifying 7lbs from the 24th) and today I was Porky.9. Not because of a virtuous weekend (far from it - I've had a lot more wine than I would usually allow myself) but because of that delightful time of the month I think. That and the fact that on Wednesday I ate bread at all three meals. In fact, all three meals WERE basically bread.
Edible highlights:
1) A bullace fool with an almond macaroon in The Crown and Castle, Orford, on my birthday night. Actually the sole I had as a main course was pretty delicious too.
2) Peggy Porschen cupcakes (SO superior to any others I've had and so light (yet deadly))
3) A Red Poll burger in The Anchor, Walberswick
4) An amazing home-made ham sandwich with artisan sourdough, excellent ham, local chutney and tomatoes from an allotment stall. Mmmm. Ditto cheese on toast one night!
Things I thought I'd enjoy more than I did:
1) Crisps - nice but not worth the diet-grief (I had both pickled onion and prawn cocktail and I have to say I did enjoy the pickled onion. But I can live without it)
2) Other cupcakes from the lady we were thinking of for our wedding cake (may have to re-think this, they were rather disappointing.)
3) Bizarrely, Rococo floral creams - hitherto my favourite chocolate. Not sure why they didn't do it for me. Almost want to have them again as I can't work it out.
Lessons learnt:
1) I miss bread and cheese more than I thought but am satisfied with a small portion if I allow myself (except obviously for Bread-gate detailed above) - I need to work out how to incorporate some into my diet occasionally.
2) I don't have to eat everything I think I have fancied, do fancy or may at some unspecified point in the future fancy. I was mostly successful at this but it was a real struggle. Still, got to get easier.
3) I'd rather have one good cupcake or one lovely glass of wine than loads of indifferent. I guess I already knew this though.
4) Chocolate is not the be-all and end-all. Odd. Can't help but think that I must be eating the wrong chocolate. Trying not to think what the right chocolate might be!
And I've had a lovely long weekend and a lovely shorter one. Our weekend over my birthday was pretty good - a lovely meal out, catching up with friends, and two great walks (and one not-so-great). Bf bought me some antique sapphire and diamond ear-studs. I'd asked for something little to open! They are quite dainty but that's not what I meant! But they're lovely; I just love old jewellery. And he says he's still buying me a bag in NY.
Then staying with bf's friends in Devon this weekend. They're the most lovely couple and they have the most adorable sons - the boys almost made me feel slightly broody, they're so gorgeous. And I'd always thought I'd prefer girls but they were just so much fun to talk to. But as the younger one said, I have him (in lieu of a child of my own!). He also declared love and whispered to me I was pretty. Quite smooth for a 6 year old! Mind you, he also spent 10 minutes telling me about all his memorable poos. Nice. He might want to re-think that as a woo-ing method.
So now I have to buckle down and lose as much lard-age as I can before the great US adventure. I know I will put on weight there too but the more I can get off, the better I'll feel out there and the less I'll have to lose again when I come back. If you see what I mean. Doing, doing (the sound of my yo-yoing energetically). I can only foresee 3 sticky moments between now and Heathrow: 1) Sunday lunch at bf's parents this weekend (tactics: no booze, little pudding, saving all syns), 2) Bf's birthday when he has requested my meatball lasagne (I don't want to scrimp on ingredients for this so a small portion for me and saving up the old syns) and 3) Bf's birthday meal out (choose not what I might like but what seems SW wisest).
I give myself a B for effort - I tried hard, I had some successes but I ate more than I would have ideally allowed myself. And it's hard to get back on to the diet; I'm back properly on it today but my traitorous alter ego keeps whispering suggestions for naughtiness in my ear and persuading me that I may as well wait until Wednesday (WI day) to get back to it. No, no, NO.
I braved SoD on Friday and today - on Thursday I was Porky.11 (up a terrifying 7lbs from the 24th) and today I was Porky.9. Not because of a virtuous weekend (far from it - I've had a lot more wine than I would usually allow myself) but because of that delightful time of the month I think. That and the fact that on Wednesday I ate bread at all three meals. In fact, all three meals WERE basically bread.
Edible highlights:
1) A bullace fool with an almond macaroon in The Crown and Castle, Orford, on my birthday night. Actually the sole I had as a main course was pretty delicious too.
2) Peggy Porschen cupcakes (SO superior to any others I've had and so light (yet deadly))
3) A Red Poll burger in The Anchor, Walberswick
4) An amazing home-made ham sandwich with artisan sourdough, excellent ham, local chutney and tomatoes from an allotment stall. Mmmm. Ditto cheese on toast one night!
Things I thought I'd enjoy more than I did:
1) Crisps - nice but not worth the diet-grief (I had both pickled onion and prawn cocktail and I have to say I did enjoy the pickled onion. But I can live without it)
2) Other cupcakes from the lady we were thinking of for our wedding cake (may have to re-think this, they were rather disappointing.)
3) Bizarrely, Rococo floral creams - hitherto my favourite chocolate. Not sure why they didn't do it for me. Almost want to have them again as I can't work it out.
Lessons learnt:
1) I miss bread and cheese more than I thought but am satisfied with a small portion if I allow myself (except obviously for Bread-gate detailed above) - I need to work out how to incorporate some into my diet occasionally.
2) I don't have to eat everything I think I have fancied, do fancy or may at some unspecified point in the future fancy. I was mostly successful at this but it was a real struggle. Still, got to get easier.
3) I'd rather have one good cupcake or one lovely glass of wine than loads of indifferent. I guess I already knew this though.
4) Chocolate is not the be-all and end-all. Odd. Can't help but think that I must be eating the wrong chocolate. Trying not to think what the right chocolate might be!
And I've had a lovely long weekend and a lovely shorter one. Our weekend over my birthday was pretty good - a lovely meal out, catching up with friends, and two great walks (and one not-so-great). Bf bought me some antique sapphire and diamond ear-studs. I'd asked for something little to open! They are quite dainty but that's not what I meant! But they're lovely; I just love old jewellery. And he says he's still buying me a bag in NY.
Then staying with bf's friends in Devon this weekend. They're the most lovely couple and they have the most adorable sons - the boys almost made me feel slightly broody, they're so gorgeous. And I'd always thought I'd prefer girls but they were just so much fun to talk to. But as the younger one said, I have him (in lieu of a child of my own!). He also declared love and whispered to me I was pretty. Quite smooth for a 6 year old! Mind you, he also spent 10 minutes telling me about all his memorable poos. Nice. He might want to re-think that as a woo-ing method.
So now I have to buckle down and lose as much lard-age as I can before the great US adventure. I know I will put on weight there too but the more I can get off, the better I'll feel out there and the less I'll have to lose again when I come back. If you see what I mean. Doing, doing (the sound of my yo-yoing energetically). I can only foresee 3 sticky moments between now and Heathrow: 1) Sunday lunch at bf's parents this weekend (tactics: no booze, little pudding, saving all syns), 2) Bf's birthday when he has requested my meatball lasagne (I don't want to scrimp on ingredients for this so a small portion for me and saving up the old syns) and 3) Bf's birthday meal out (choose not what I might like but what seems SW wisest).
Thursday, 25 August 2011
Woulda, coulda, shoulda
The maintaining a steely discipline dissolved at the point at which work became so unbearable that I had to eat my way through it. It sounds worse than it has been (in terms of calorie ingestion – it’s not been a total throwing in of the dieting towel) but at the same time, it’s not what I’d intended. I know, I know, the road to hell is paved in good intentions.
I will not allow myself to collapse entirely though. This week I didn’t lose so much as an ounce (despite coming in under syns) so I really can’t embrace the evils of booze, sugar, flour and fat with anything like the gusto that I’d ideally like. I’m having the rest of the week off (hell, it’s going to be more like the week) but it’s going to be mindful. Apart from the biscuits I ate today in blind panic and misery. But that’s the end of that behaviour. Scout’s honour.
I will actually miss my next WI – or rather it will be delayed a day as we’re not back until Wednesday so WI and next possible computer encounter will be next Thursday. A day of pain for me I foresee. Have a lovely bank holiday weekend (organised in honour of my birthday donchaknow) – when I next write I will be older. All tips for getting rid of crepiness under the eyes most gratefully received.
I will not allow myself to collapse entirely though. This week I didn’t lose so much as an ounce (despite coming in under syns) so I really can’t embrace the evils of booze, sugar, flour and fat with anything like the gusto that I’d ideally like. I’m having the rest of the week off (hell, it’s going to be more like the week) but it’s going to be mindful. Apart from the biscuits I ate today in blind panic and misery. But that’s the end of that behaviour. Scout’s honour.
I will actually miss my next WI – or rather it will be delayed a day as we’re not back until Wednesday so WI and next possible computer encounter will be next Thursday. A day of pain for me I foresee. Have a lovely bank holiday weekend (organised in honour of my birthday donchaknow) – when I next write I will be older. All tips for getting rid of crepiness under the eyes most gratefully received.
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Rain, rain, go away, come again another day (but not until after the bank holiday weekend please)
Given that we are a soggy island, people’s reaction to rain always amazes me. Today on my 10 min walk from the tube to my office I saw a woman in a black pencil skirt, teal top, lipstick pink heels – and an umbrella matched EXACTLY to her shoes. Who would ever have thought of such co-ordination? Still, better than the man who had fashioned himself what looked like a shower cap out of a Sainsbury’s carrier bag. Stylish.
But I was envious of the girl, dressed in work-out gear, with a gorgeous little blood orange sweat-top with ruched sleeves and black leggings. Can you IMAGINE being able to wear leggings with a short top and looking pert-arsed rather than a visual affront? I can’t. I think if I dieted for the rest of my life (which, let’s face it, is entirely probable), I couldn’t pull that off. Sigh.
I have had a very mixed week. On the positive side, I have not thrown caution to the wind – in fact, I have had caution in a desparate stranglehold. I have had 88 syns out of what is allowed – for a normal person – 105. But I haven’t met my rules – I usually allow myself 5 during the week and 15 Fri/Sat/Sun (although if I hit 20 on one or two of those days I don’t castigate myself too much). A weekend with my mother meant a few more treats than I should allow myself – but as SWise One says, sometimes other things are more important than dieting. This was one of those weekends. I did what I could but I’m trying not to beat myself up over a bit more lassitude. Of course, I may not be able to stick to that once I encounter SoD tomorrow (although a sneaky WI BEFORE the weekend – 2 days of utter virtue – lead to me being 1.5lbs up. ???).
I’m also thinking very carefully about the forthcoming weekend. I want to enjoy the birthday treats without throwing – nay hurling – the diet completely out of the window. Not every meal has to be a defiantly anti-diet choice; there are things I really want (cake, wine, heedless and hedonistic restaurant choices) but there are equally things I don’t need to have ‘just because’. I keep thinking about McDonalds! Better to have a really delicious artisanal burger in the pub halfway round one of the 11 mile walks I’m planning – that is worth breaking the diet for (only because it’s my birthday) whereas a Big Mac is not. It’s just headfuckery (if you’ll forgive the graphic phrase) and I’m not giving in to it. I gave bf a run down of what I wanted to do for the whole weekend (Friday to Tuesday (inc)) and he did say “That’s THREE really long walks”. Yep! I’ve given him a pass to reduce one if he’s knackered. I think we’ll be fine though.
In other news, Operation Stiletto is limping along. Literally. I wore heels all day on Thursday and it took until Saturday lunchtime until the balls of my feet stopped hurting. Yesterday and today I have only worn heels in the office – not sure that’s going to be enough to make me a proficient and pain-free high heel wearer, given that I spend most of my time in the office sitting at a desk. When I go to the loo though, the air feels thinner.
But I was envious of the girl, dressed in work-out gear, with a gorgeous little blood orange sweat-top with ruched sleeves and black leggings. Can you IMAGINE being able to wear leggings with a short top and looking pert-arsed rather than a visual affront? I can’t. I think if I dieted for the rest of my life (which, let’s face it, is entirely probable), I couldn’t pull that off. Sigh.
I have had a very mixed week. On the positive side, I have not thrown caution to the wind – in fact, I have had caution in a desparate stranglehold. I have had 88 syns out of what is allowed – for a normal person – 105. But I haven’t met my rules – I usually allow myself 5 during the week and 15 Fri/Sat/Sun (although if I hit 20 on one or two of those days I don’t castigate myself too much). A weekend with my mother meant a few more treats than I should allow myself – but as SWise One says, sometimes other things are more important than dieting. This was one of those weekends. I did what I could but I’m trying not to beat myself up over a bit more lassitude. Of course, I may not be able to stick to that once I encounter SoD tomorrow (although a sneaky WI BEFORE the weekend – 2 days of utter virtue – lead to me being 1.5lbs up. ???).
I’m also thinking very carefully about the forthcoming weekend. I want to enjoy the birthday treats without throwing – nay hurling – the diet completely out of the window. Not every meal has to be a defiantly anti-diet choice; there are things I really want (cake, wine, heedless and hedonistic restaurant choices) but there are equally things I don’t need to have ‘just because’. I keep thinking about McDonalds! Better to have a really delicious artisanal burger in the pub halfway round one of the 11 mile walks I’m planning – that is worth breaking the diet for (only because it’s my birthday) whereas a Big Mac is not. It’s just headfuckery (if you’ll forgive the graphic phrase) and I’m not giving in to it. I gave bf a run down of what I wanted to do for the whole weekend (Friday to Tuesday (inc)) and he did say “That’s THREE really long walks”. Yep! I’ve given him a pass to reduce one if he’s knackered. I think we’ll be fine though.
In other news, Operation Stiletto is limping along. Literally. I wore heels all day on Thursday and it took until Saturday lunchtime until the balls of my feet stopped hurting. Yesterday and today I have only worn heels in the office – not sure that’s going to be enough to make me a proficient and pain-free high heel wearer, given that I spend most of my time in the office sitting at a desk. When I go to the loo though, the air feels thinner.
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